


Alistair's Letters

by KLSwift



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:12:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7724656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KLSwift/pseuds/KLSwift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about brother and sister Aedan and Sara Cousland as they overcome the loss of their family and home. They travel with Duncan, one to become a Grey Warden and escape the shadow of his missing older brother, Fergus. The other, just trying to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dragon Age I FanFic

Sara Cousland sat at her painted vanity table as her elven maid, Nahli brushed out her long raven hair. Always gentle and talkative, Nahli came from a Denerim alienage after her parents succumbed to one of the many plagues that struck the city elves within their humble village. Her pointed ears just peeking out from under curly blonde hair. Sara listened to her hum an elvish folk song, seeming stuck inside her own thoughts until the smaller elf girl looked up and saw Sara watching her through the oval shaped mirror.

“Sorry Miss,” Nahli apologized with a slight bow of her head, never breaking the calming rhythm of her brushstrokes. “Just been a really fine morning hasn’t it?”

“Don’t apologize Nahli,” Sara countered offering the blushing elf a smile, “what were you humming?”

“Can’t remember the name,” Nahli answered, “just some lullaby I can sometimes recall.”

“What has you in such a good mood?” Sara asked looking out her bedroom window and seeing the dreary clouds covering the sky. “It is not that fine a day.”

Sara knew why her maid was in such high spirits, who was now attempting to hide the blush taking over her normally milky soft complexion. Nahli had caught the eye of one of the kitchen servants, another young elf. Sara couldn’t remember his name, but she didn’t push Nahli to explain herself further, with little privacy the elves received here at the castle it was her way of respecting her.

“Your mum’s friend arrived this mornin’ miss,” Nahli said, coming back up for air after hiding behind her hair until her blush subsided.

“More talks of arranged marriage then,” Sara sighed as Nahli began to part and braid her hair. When she was younger Sara was allowed to let her hair fly away in the breeze. Her dark hair, she inherited from her mother. Now there were expectations put on her, more so it seemed, than her brothers received as they came of age. Most of her expectations though centered around appearance and manners.

“Dairren has finally filled out a bit,” Nahli countered, “maybe you’ll finally approve.”

“You can put a boy in a man’s body, Nahli,” argued Sara, “but you can’t put a man’s mind between his ears.”

“He can’t be that bad,” the elf commented stifling a laugh as she finished the braid and tied a lace ribbon to hold the braid.

“He doesn’t say much, but what he does say isn’t any invention of his own, it would be like marrying his pushy drunk mother,” Sara said as she stood and held her arms up for the corset that Nahli already retrieved from the bed. Sara finally glanced behind her to see the formal lavender colored dressing gown set out for the day. Nahli never would have picked it out, she knew Sara hated it. She knew that outfit was picked out by her mother, Eleanor Cousland.

The Cousland family were nobles in Highever and the family had controlled the fortress castle since the Black Age. Nestled in the north of Ferelden, and had a history full of battles for power and independence. The Cousland family are one of two Teyrnirs left and held influence over the land second only by the crown and King Cailan.

“Ser Gilmore and Aedan are in archery training if you wish to avoid Lady Eleanor,” Nahli whispered after the corset was tightened and laced. The feeling of confinement used to bother Sara, but she was used to it now, being eighteen years of age, she had been dressed in such fashions since her thirteenth birthday. It was when her father, Bryce took a step back, always yielding to her mother when it came to important matters surrounding Sara, the only daughter of the family.

“I wish I could take my archery lessons when they did, but I have to endure Mother’s teachings in private,” Sara groaned as she stepped into the soft lavender gown.

“Most ladies don’t take archery lessons,” Nahli pointed out smiling as she deftly buttoned the gown.

“I wish I didn’t, not really, but Mother insists I learn all that on top of my reading and music lessons,” Sara countered and Nahli nodded her head absently. It was a discussion that she and her mistress had more than once over the years. “And it’s only because she was trained because of that war.”

“Miss, just try to smile nicely when you meet Dairren,” Nahli said, changing the subject, “pinch your cheeks a little to bring a bit of color.”

“You are my conscience,” Sara said smiling as she gently pinched her cheeks along her cheekbone to turn her skin a lasting soft shade of pink. Thankful for the change of subject, the one Nahli picked also bothered Sara. Her only two female friends growing up, Anora, who really was a rival she rarely ever saw, and Nan, the head of the kitchen now that her charges were all grown were both doing what was expected of them. Anora was now Queen, standing beside Cailan. The families had never been close, a few formal invitations and talks during a landsmeet. None of which came after Cailan was summoned to quell the Darkspawn outbreaks in the far south near the ruins of Ostagar nestled within the Korcari wilderness. She only worried about it, because her father, Bryce, her eldest brother Fergus, and their men were due to send aid and join the battle in the coming days. Nan had never married and had no title or children of her own, after Sara was old enough to look after herself, Nan was delegated to kitchen duty, where she became cold and distant from Sara, never allowing her to stay around the kitchen, saying it wasn’t right for an upstanding lady. 

“Better get on with it then,” Nahli ordered breaking Sara out of her daze. Sara smiled as she left Nahli to make up the bed and gather the washing.

Sara knew she couldn’t avoid her mother, so instead of searching out her brother she started walking towards the main hall where her father and mother would greet visitors. Nahli probably would have told her where to meet her, usually, but whatever brought on the humming probably caused most of the morning instructions her mother gave her to leave her mind. Sara walked down the sloping cobblestone walkway and found her mother sitting in a usually sunlit atrium listening to Lady Landra talking about the trip.

“Good Morning, Sara,” Eleanor greeted putting her elegant golden fan away. Sara could tell Eleanor was bored of Lady Landra’s story, finally having an excuse to politely interrupt. “Landra, you do remember Sara, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Landra said, “I may have been a bit tipsy last we met, but I do, you were just a tiny stick back then. Hasn’t she grown up nicely, Dairren?”

“Y-yes, I dare say she has,” Dairren added offering Sara an embarrassed smile. “Although I don’t see how you remember much of anything that visit.” 

“Oh please,” Landra countered playfully smacking Dairren on the elbow then she turned to the smaller woman who slightly bowed when Sara’s eyes fell on her. “And of course my maid, Iona made the trip with me.”

“To keep her out of trouble this time,” Dairren said, earning another playful swat from his mother.

“Shall we call up Nan for some tea?” Eleanor asked as she sat back down on the smoothed stone bench, the small area smelling of wildflowers that were planted around the benches on either side of the walkway.

“I’ll do it, Ladyship,” Iona answered before mother could summon one of the castle’s servants, “I believe I remember the way.”

“So, last time we visited you swore off men with a right loud tantrum,” Landra said glancing over at Eleanor before turning her full attention back to Sara.

“I’ll not throw a tantrum this time,” Sara said then added her own fake laughter to the room as the others laughed. These playful jabs were always a part of gatherings and parties, although Eleanor’s rank kept most of the venom out of Landra’s voice, it wasn’t difficult to see that Sara’s indifference to Dairren had bothered her. It also wasn’t lost on Sara that Landra and her mother sat quickly down on the bench and left no choice for Dairren, but to sit next to her. She noticed as well that Dairren was still standing, which made her look down at her lap and blush, thinking that maybe Dairren also remembered the tantrum, it ended with his ankle getting kicked after all.

“So Eleanor will Aedan be joining Bryce and Fergus when they go to send aid to King Cailan?” Landra asked motioning for Dairren to sit down.

“No Aedan is to stay here, although, he’s been a bit unruly about going as well,” Eleanor answered, Sara noticing a worried look cross her Mother’s face as she glanced down the path that led to the main hall, where Sara knew, if she were to go look, it would be where Bryce would be discussing travel plans. The date of their departure had slowly marched closer, now that it was near the tension in the castle could be felt throughout it. As Sara passed guards stationed, they would be talking about the journey and wondering how bad it was or just how grotesque the darkspawn actually were. Sara had only seen pictures drawn by artists depicting ancient battles between darkspawn and Grey Wardens, but all that seemed fairytale until the latest uprising. It was all Aedan and Ser Gilmore talked about, but neither of them were going with Father and Fergus, Bryce had always treated Ser Gilmore like another son and since he was the same age as Aedan he didn’t select him to join the men that would be leaving.

“Lady Eleanor,” an old guardsman said as he stepped around the corner into the tiny atrium.

“Yes?” Eleanor said as he bowed his head and removed his helmet.

“Arl Rendon Howe has just arrived early and insists that Teyrn Loghain and King Cailan can no longer wait for Arl Eamon and Bryce’s aid.”

“Has something happened?” Eleanor asked standing up. Sara’s heart leapt, there was to be a formal dinner before their morning send off.

“Just wanting a strong final push my Lady,” he answered bowing again, “he asks that you send for Fergus since he will be leading them.”

“Fergus is with Oriana and Oren,” Eleanor said glancing around the atrium for a maid servant. “Sara will see to Fergus, won’t you Sara?”

“Yes Mother,” Sara answered, “when will Fergus need to leave?”

“This evening Miss, Bryce is to wait for word on Eamon, he’s been late in correspondence,” the guardsmen said, then gave another quick bow and left the atrium to return to the main hall.

“Dairren go with her,” Landra ordered, “and where is that girl with the tea?”

“I can find Fergus’ room,” Sara countered and she turned and hurried back up the sloping cobblestone floor in the direction of the tower where Fergus’ family slept.

Fergus had been comforting Oriana ever since the decision was made to send aid to King Cailan weeks ago. Oren, their son, had started to catch on that this journey was larger than what had taken Fergus away from them in the past. He was still easier to convince than Oriana. Oriana was the daughter of rich Antivan traders, their relationship started out as an arranged marriage, but Sara had always liked her, she was a warm hearted mother and Fergus was crazy about her.

When Sara arrived at the room she overheard Fergus telling Oriana the news, that he would be leaving ahead of Bryce and Arl Eamon’s men, leading the Cousland army early. Sara rolled her eyes, breathing heavier and more deeply than the corset allowed, she knew better than to go rushing off, that even in a castle fortress this size news traveled fast. Finally knocking, Sara entered the room. Oriana wiped tears away with her lace trimmed handkerchief before placing it back into her pocket. Oren was playing with Fergus’ hunting dagger, sitting on the floor trying to cut through leather reins on a toy horse and knight.

“Well ‘lo there little sister,” Fergus greeted beckoning Sara to enter the room.

“Stop that Oren,” Oriana said, “Fergus, I told you not to let him play with your knives.”

“You worry too much,” Fergus countered offering Oriana a smile, but she kneeled down and carefully removed the dagger from Oren’s grip, with only a small fight.

“I was to tell you that you were leaving this evening,” Sara said trying to force her breathing back to normal, “but apparently someone beat me to it.”

“I overheard the conversation and came up here to tell Oriana,” Fergus said, “I had just arrived not long before you.”

“Do you think something is wrong?” Sara asked, trying to keep Oren out of the conversation, the three adults moved closer together.

“No, we all know Loghain hates taking orders from his younger son-in-law King,” Fergus countered patting Oriana on the shoulder. “Wants more old men like Father and Eamon down there so he can talk strategy to men that will listen to it.”

“You shouldn’t say that about the King,” Oriana whispered smiling. Fergus was the same age as King Cailan, he was also in line to take over Teyrnship after Bryce, who was planning to step aside in the next few years, already allowing Fergus to lead and command the men. Most people did share Fergus’ thoughts on the King though, that he was too young when he took the crown. That he lived for grandeur instead of real tactical leadership. Over the years, Teyrn Loghain had been more of a presence at the king’s side.

“Fergus,” Eleanor said as she entered, her eye make-up was streaking down her face. Out of the presence of Lady Landra, she allowed her emotions to wash over her.

“I still wish I could join you Fergus,” Aedan said as he shuffled past his mother, he slammed his hand hard against Fergus’ shoulder causing him to grunt. Aedan was the most imposing physically standing a head taller than Fergus with a wider muscular frame.

“Someone has to take care of Sara and Mother,” Fergus said, “and of course my lovely wife and son.”

“Oh you know they can get on without us, better really,” Aedan countered, “when they’re not all crying over you, Mother at least pretend he isn’t your favorite.”

“Stop hassling your mother, Aedan,” Bryce ordered as he too entered the bedroom, making it seem smaller than it actually was. Sara reached up and felt that her own cheeks were wet and streaked with tears, she hadn’t really realized she was crying. This wasn’t the first time that Fergus and her father were rushing off to lend aid, being Teyrns, it was expected of them to aid the King first and then lower ranking noble families when needed.

“I’ll be fine,” Fergus said, “the way Cailan's reports write there is hardly anything to do.”

“We’ll drive those darkspawn back into their underground holes and be back before too long,” Bryce added, but his smile was tighter as he held Eleanor in one arm and patted Fergus’ arm with his free hand. “Now come along everyone, let Fergus finish saying goodbye to his wife, I have something to discuss with the rest of you.”

After having to gently pry Eleanor off of Fergus, Bryce led the other Couslands out of the room and into the hall. Aedan and Sara’s bedrooms were also in this tower.

“Eleanor see to Oren, remember Oriana worried herself into an illness the last time Fergus had to leave,” Bryce whispered and Eleanor nodded. “Sara, with me and Fergus away Eleanor will have to take care of important business, so you keep Nan and the elves in line.”

“Father I want to go,” Aedan interrupted when Bryce’s gaze fell on him. “Ser Gilmore and I were talking earlier and we’re just as skilled as Fergus, men younger than us…”

“I’ll not hear this again,” Bryce counter, but offered Aedan a small smile, “you and Ser Gilmore are to keep the remaining guard in line, some of them will try to take advantage of my absence. There is also a Grey Warden by the name of Duncan, just arrived looking for reinforcements, do not let him convince you of joining, I already told him no.”

“I’m old enough to make some decisions for myself, father,” Aedan countered crossing his arms. “I’m only two years younger than Fergus.”

“A Grey Warden’s life isn’t a life for people like us,” Bryce argued, “their lone mission is to rid the world of Darkspawn. You have expectations to uphold, you all do.”

“To be in Fergus’ shadow,” Aedan grunted frowning when Eleanor gasped.

“Now let’s stop this bickering, our time with Fergus is a lot shorter than we expected,” Eleanor said, her voice quivering, “and so I want all this to stop, no more, you hear me?”

“Yes Mother,” Aedan said a blush creeping across his face.

“Now I need to go tell Nan to prepare for a lighter supper,” Eleanor said and she stepped around everyone else in the hallway and disappeared around the corner.

“Arl Howe and I need to discuss some things, then I’ll need to see him off,” Bryce said, in a tone that was final when Aedan began to speak. “Go find Duncan, show him to a guest lodging and no talk of joining his Wardens it will break your mother’s heart.”

“Of course Father,” Aedan said to the back of Bryce’s retreating figure and he too disappeared down the corridor to the main parts of the castle.

“Want to go meet this Duncan?” Aedan asked glancing at Sara.

“Better than being married off to Dairren now that my guard is down,” Sara answered causing Aedan to laugh.

“I doubt anyone would have you,” Aedan joked elbowing Sara, which knocked her into the stone wall. “Every man by now has heard you’re a little ankle breaker.”

“I didn’t break his ankle,” Sara countered, “didn’t even leave a bruise, I don’t think.”

“The boy limped the rest of the time they visited, Sara,” Aedan countered, “you could have been the boy’s ruining.”

“Yes well, if Dairren is all there is out there for me,” Sara said, then let out a sigh, “maybe that’s all there is.”

“Neither one of us looking forward to those glory days,” Aedan said, “at least you’re not going to be Fergus’ errand boy.”

“You know Fergus wouldn’t do that, he’ll honor you somehow,” Sara said, “but me, if Mother doesn’t marry me off I’ll be Nan!”

“You are starting to act like the grumpy old toad,” Aedan said, “of course some of that had to rub off on you, she did take care of you more than she did Fergus and I.”

“That’s because you and Fergus were allowed to follow Father around when you weren’t in your lessons all I had after was Nan, to practice sewing, reading, harp playing...”

“And of course Mother taught you how to fight,” Aedan whispered as they began to search the castle for Duncan, Bryce hadn’t told them exactly where he was.

“Where is this Duncan anyway?” Sara asked changing the subject. She didn’t like that people knew about her training, of course her brothers would, and Nahli, because she would be the one getting her ready for the night time instruction. Aedan shrugged as they turned the corner, but he soon stopped with Sara taking a few strides more before she did as well. Duncan was talking to Ser Gilmore at his guard station just outside the weapons’ room. When Ser Gilmore saw them, Duncan stopped talking and looked towards them as well.

“Sorry to interrupt Ser Gilmore and you must be Duncan,” Aedan said recovering before Sara and stepped around her to shake his hand. Duncan tipped his head as he shook Aedan’s hand then let it drop.

“And you must be Bryce’s son Aedan,” Duncan said seemingly measuring Aedan as he took in his muscular frame.

“I was just telling Duncan about you,” Ser Gilmore said smiling his eyes scanning the hall fell on Sara, “and hello Sara.”

“Hello Ser Gilmore,” Sara greeted then Duncan looked at her with the same measuring look he gave Aedan, which made Sara feel awkward and wondered if Duncan had made Aedan feel that way too.

“Teyrn Bryce gave me permission to scout the guardsmen for possible recruits, he pointed out Ser Gilmore specifically,” Duncan said and Sara turned to see Aedan’s expression darken.

“I was just telling Duncan that I may join him later, but I’d rather stand by here until Fergus and your father return,” Ser Gilmore said, “just to write when he was in need of me.”

“Although loyal as you are Ser Gilmore,” Duncan said turning back to him, “I must insist you leave with me tomorrow if you are wanting to join. I’m due to return to Ostagar.”

“Gilmore, I’ve been left in charge of the guardsmen,” Aedan countered, “if Father recommended you, go. It was done in high praise.”

“It just doesn’t feel right leaving my post, seems my place to stay here since I wasn’t selected to join Fergus’ men,” Ser Gilmore countered, but Sara watched as Ser Gilmore seemed to battle with the two ideas. Ser Gilmore was young, but handsome, truly loyal. Part of Sara had always been fond of him, he was the kinder and gentler of the inseparable duo. He also never bowed, called her miss, or ask Bryce for permission to begin courtship, as far as she knew. That same part had her thinking that maybe she would have been fine if he had. He was just a knight though, although higher ranked than most his age. He had been stationed at Cousland Castle through his apprenticeship and had grown up with the Cousland children, although at a respectable distance from her.

“Gilmore, don’t pass this up, you’re not tied down to family,” Aedan said, “do it now when you have freedom enough to make that choice.”

“Alright, it’s settled then,” Ser Gilmore said setting his shoulders, “Duncan, I accept your offer.”

“Good, I’ll leave you to gather your belongings,” Duncan said and Ser Gilmore left his post in front of the weapons room to go to the barracks where he stayed.

“Thank you, Aedan,” Duncan said turning to Aedan. Sara had back tracked the few steps that separated them and stood next to her brother. She came up to his shoulder. “Although your father never would have allowed it, I was actually hoping to recruit you as well.”

“I had the feeling,” Aedan said not hiding his displeasure of having to listen to his father and turn down the opportunity to escape Fergus’ shadow. Leave the Castle behind, at least, for a short time and do something exciting with his life before he too would be expected to settle down with a wife and children.

“Duncan,” Sara said after a silence fell around them, looking at Aedan knowing that his mind was on battles and glory instead of what their Father told him to do. “We’re to show you to the guest quarters, if you’ll come with us.”

“Thank you,” Duncan said giving Sara a warm smile.

They walked in silence down stone hallways to one of the many guest lodging areas the castle provided. Knowing Landra, Dairren, and Iona were somewhere around here as well Sara hoped Eleanore hadn’t put them into the best rooms, thinking Duncan, although battleworn and a bit dirty from his traveling seemed more worthy for the finer rooms. But not to her surprise Duncan turned down the finer rooms, wanting more privacy, and to be out of the way. He chose a small room that Sara hoped had at least been cleaned recently.

“I’ll send Nahli to fetch you for supper,” Sara said and she elbowed Aedan as she turned to leave, knowing her brother wanted to stay there and talk to Duncan, but he didn’t seem like the sort that liked talking about wild tales of the Grey Wardens. They were a small order and most of what was known about them were told to them by their tutor. Aedan left her side when they walked out of the guest quarters, mumbling something to her as he rushed past her. She sighed, but was thankful that her father had forced him to stay.

The rest of the evening Sara’s mind would race away with her. Thinking of Fergus leaving shortly after supper started, after he quickly ate. Oriana followed him out of the room with Oren crying, clutching her dress tail. She watched as Bryce took hold of Eleanor’s hand when she too made to stand and leave the room. Sara also had to ignore Landra’s half-drunken jabs about marriage and fears of becoming a lonely old spinster hag.

She was relieved to be alone in her bedroom. That seemed to be when her mind slowed down and let her catch up enough to cry over Fergus’ departure, knowing she’ll be saying goodbye to Father in the coming days as well, once Arl Eamon’s men arrived. She had just began to fall asleep when a muffled crash and a scream issued from the room next door.

“Nahli?” Sara whispered, but her room was empty. She sat up when another crash was heard outside of her bedroom door.

“Open the door Sara, quickly!” Eleanore ordered and Sara’s heart began to hammer as she walked around her four poster bed, the cold stone floor causing her to wince as she made for the door and pulled it open. Eleanore rushed in, knocking Sara aside and closed the door behind her.

“What’s the matter?” Sara asked rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes, when she examined her mother more closely she saw that she was wearing a light armor, the armor she trained Sara to fight in at night.

“The Castle is under attack!” Eleanore answered, “Now get your armor on, your weapons, quickly!”

“Who is attacking the castle?” Sara asked as she opened her trunk and pulled out her own light armor. She only looked at it not really knowing how to put it on, it was always Nahli that helped her and she never really cared enough to learn how to do it herself. Noticing Sara’s hesitation Eleanore dropped her bow onto Sara’s bed and grabbed the armor from her and started shoving it over Sara’s head and pulling the leather armored trousers on over her night dress.

“Your bow and your war axes,” Eleanor instructed as she grabbed her own bow.

“Mother please,” Sara started, but Eleanor whirled back around to face her.

“Do not hesitate out there, as soon as you see that they aren’t our guards you take the shot,” Eleanor said, “to kill.” 

Sara had trouble swallowing, her hands clammy and her mouth dry. She saw the fear mingling with the determination in Eleanor’s eyes and only nodded. Then she suddenly thought of everyone else, why hadn’t they come with her?

“Where’s Father, Aedan, Oriana..”

“I don’t know!” Eleanor interrupted, “we’ll check on Oriana and Oren, they’re right next door, I sent Aedan to look for Bryce.”

“You’ve not seen him?” Sara asked as Eleanor opened the bedroom door, arrow strung in the bow ready to shoot. When the hallway was clear and quiet they stepped into it and Sara looked around to see crumpled bodies on the floor. She walked over to a younger looking man, her heart nearly stopping until she saw that it wasn’t anyone that she recognized. What she did see though, made her gasp. “Howe’s men, look.”

“Howe’s men?” Eleanor said and she knelt beside another dead soldier on the floor.

“Why would his men attack the castle?” Sara asked, but Eleanor was already sprinting towards Fergus’ bedroom. The door was cracked open with the faint light from the nighttime fire coming through. Sara caught up to her just as Eleanore pushed the door open. Eleanor’s knees buckled when she saw the crumpled figures on the floor.

“They’ve killed Oren,” Eleanor whispered looking at the small boy’s body. Sara couldn’t bring herself to look again. “They’re going to kill us all.”

“We have to go,” Sara said, her own eyes clouded with tears, she blinked letting them free to streak down her face.

It was then she heard heavily armored men running up the corridor towards them. Eleanor stood and drew her bow. When they turned the corner and the distinctive crest of Arl Howe’s men became visible Eleanor shot an arrow, it struck the first man just between chestplate and helm, striking his neck he staggered to one knee, then fell to the floor.

“Sara!” Eleanor yelled, as she let another arrow loose, Sara had frozen and had nearly been killed by one of Howe’s archers now standing at the edge of the corridor. Sara ducked another arrow then bent low as she rushed the two men left standing. When she was within a few yards she stood and let one of her waraxes fly through the air. She had never thrown one at another living thing, only at wooden targets set up by the kitchen elves after they had finished cleaning from the nights’ suppers. Eleanor put an arrow through the chest of the archer as Sara watched as her hatchet buried itself into the armor of the soldier. He grunted, but only stumbled, blood streaming out of the cut, he made to turn away and retreat, but Sara felt her anger propel her after the man and he never saw her coming as she raised the other hatchet and sliced through the back of his neck. The man let out a short gurgling scream before he fell forward. Sara didn’t look at the man’s face as she rolled him over and retrieved the hatchet she had thrown.

“Miss Sara!” Nahli screamed from the bottom of a corridor as she raced up to meet them. Iona and a young male elf were with her. “The castle has gone mad, Howe’s men!”

“We know,” Eleanor said, “can you make it to the kitchen?”

“We just come from the library My Lady,” Nahli said and they all looked around when a crash came from somewhere deeper into the castle.

“Make your way to the kitchen, you must know of the secret passage through the larder?” Eleanor said as she reached for an arrow, a second crashing noise echoed off the castle walls, this one closer.

“Yes, My Lady,” Nahli said, “I can’t leave you…”

“Do it,” Sara interrupted, “you have to, you can’t fight, you’ve not been properly trained!”

“You’re out numbered, they’ve taken the castle!” Nahli screamed, “They’ve killed Dairren and Lady Landra, we were in the library playing cards when the attacks started.”

“Go through the passageway in the larder,” Eleanor said, “that’s an order, we need someone to, to get through it, please.”

“My Lady, Miss, be careful,” Nahli said relenting and the three elves turned back into the shadows.

“I hope they make it,” Eleanor whispered as she led the way down the corridor and straight towards the Main Hall. “The Main Hall is where Bryce and Aedan would be.”

When they arrived they found Ser Gilmore and a few guardsmen barricading the main entrance, but the large doors were already cracking and splintering and neither Bryce nor Aedan were in the room. Sara looked around for her tutor, and for the Chantry mother, or Nan, no one had made it to the Main Hall entrance.

“Ser Gilmore!” Sara yelled, causing Ser Gilmore to turn and leave the barricade.

“What are you doing here!” Ser Gilmore yelled over the booming noise on the other side of the large wooden doors. “I’ve just sent Aedan to find you.”

“Have you seen Bryce?” Eleanor asked and Ser Gilmore looked down, shaking his head.

“He stayed up late with Arl Howe,” Ser Gilmore answered and Eleanor gasped.

“Come with us,” Sara said, “leave the door, we can fight our way through.”

“They’ve surrounded us Sara,” Ser Gilmore argued, “all the known passages are blocked, we’re completely out numbered. You have to find another way.”

“The larder passage,” Eleanor repeated, “if Bryce couldn’t find me, that’s where he’d know to go.”

“Please Gilmore,” Sara pleaded her voice barely over a whisper, but he looked at her for a few moments before he bowed and returned to the barricade as another attack on the doors caused a large splintering chunk to fall to the ground. Sara could see lights from burning torches through the cracks. The doors wouldn’t hold much longer. He didn’t turn to watch as the two women left the Main Hall towards the kitchen a few corridors away, but it was quiet, most of the fighting was now above them.

In the kitchen another horror awaited them as they saw Nan surrounded by a few of the elven servants, but none of them were Iona, Nahli, or the one Sara couldn’t name. It seemed that none of them even had time to grab knives still laying out on the tables. They had all died where they sat, probably polishing what was left of the silver.

When they stepped through the larder they saw Aedan knelt down blocking their view. Eleanor and Sara rushed to his side, where they found Bryce, his head supported by Aedan’s hand. He looked at them, smiling briefly.

“Where’s Oriana and little Oren?” Bryce asked, but Eleanor couldn’t answer him, as she opened her mouth only sobs escaped.

“They didn’t make it out of their bedroom,” Sara answered blinking away another wave of tears.

“Mother, Father won’t stand he says he can’t, if anyone can make him it’s you,” Aedan said looking over his shoulder to glance at Eleanore.

“You have to Bryce, it’s not much farther and we’re free,” Eleanor said, “we’ll help you, we’ll make it out.”

“I won’t,” Bryce said, his voice raspy and a small amount of blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Seeing that, Aedan looked away, burying his head into his shoulder, still supporting his father’s head in his hands. “I don’t think I can survive the standing.”

“Don’t be silly,” Eleanor countered reaching out and grabbing Bryce, she made to force him to his feet, but Bryce grimaced, his eyes going vacant with pain.

“I won’t make it,” Bryce whispered, “but you three go, tell Fergus, give him my love. They have us surrounded this is the only passage through.”

“The Teryn is right,” a voice sounded from behind them, causing them all to whirl. Duncan stood there covered in blood breathing heavily. “The Main Hall entrance has been breached, we have to move now.”

“Go on, leave me here,” Bryce pleaded looking at each of us, he seemed to be weakening more quickly now as more blood began to drip from the corner of his mouth. “Duncan see that they stay safe.”

“I will, but I must ask something in return,” Duncan said and Bryce nodded seeming to understand what that would be.

“Go with Duncan, Aedan, Sara,” Eleanor said, “I’ll stay with Bryce, hold them off when they find the larder, they’ll find the passageway.”

“Mother, no,” Sara said, but Eleanor had already turned her back on them, preparing to fire her bow at the next person that entered the larder. The next thing Sara knew, a pair of strong arms grabbed and dragged her through the darkened passageway and didn’t let go until they were breathing fresh air. The passageway exited right beside the stables. There was no sign of the elves, but she noticed two of the horses were missing as Duncan and Aedan readied the other horses.

“She’ll ride with me,” Aedan said when Duncan began to ready a third horse, “she’s never really ridden.”

“I’m deathly afraid of horses,” Sara said through her shock as Aedan mounted his sturdy black stallion then offered his hand to Sara, they both struggled until she was sitting behind him with her arms wrapped tightly around him. Duncan and Aedan jammed their heels into the sides of the horses and they sped off into the night, leaving the burning Cousland Castle behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

Dragon Age I Fanfic

They rode the horses to exhaustion on the roads leading south. At each tiny outcropping village Sara had wanted to stop, but Duncan would always tell them to keep their voices down, it was dark and other travelers this time of night wouldn’t be friendly, especially to wayward nobility. So they didn’t stop at Inns or lodging and stayed out of villages completely when the sun had risen. The speed had slowed considerably, but being on horseback this long, the tired horses jarring them with every step. They hadn’t taken many stops or made camps only stopping long enough to eat and drink.

“Please, I need a moment,” Sara begged and was finally rewarded when Duncan pulled on the reins and his horse stopped, followed by Aedan’s. They were covered in sweat, their muscles twitching. Aedan tried to slide out of the saddle first, but the motion knocked Sara off the back of the horse and she landed with a thud, Aedan’s black stallion too tired to even jump at the sudden noise behind him.

“We can slow down a little now that we are no longer being pursued by Howe’s men,” Duncan said as he watched Aedan helping Sara to her feet, she hobbled, leaning against him for support. The ribbon that Nahli had tied to her hair had long fallen out and now she combed through her wind blown hair with her fingers grimacing when her fingers snagged on a tangle.

“I need to use it,” Aedan said as he shrugged Sara off his shoulder. Sara wondered what he had meant until he ducked into the forest for privacy. She waited for him to return before she made her own way into the forest. She hesitated at first, looking around, nearly talking herself out of it, but the urge won out in the end.

When she stepped out of the forest Duncan was rummaging through his saddle packs and Aedan was removing the saddle from his horse, letting the tired stallion rest. Sara kept catching Aedan’s eyes following her as she hobbled around looking for something to do, but not knowing what exactly needed to be done. She longed for a warm fire and a bath. She knew as soon as she was alone she would allow herself to break down and cry over all the loss and she wondered when Aedan would or if he would console her when that moment came.

They had been as close as a brother and sister could be, which wasn’t as close as Aedan was to Ser Gilmore and Fergus. Aedan had never been the one to fuss over Sara after she had fallen and scraped her knee or had been stung by a bee or cried after waking from scary dreams. The most he had ever done was go and retrieve Nan when they were younger or Nahli, when they were too old for Nan to be fussing over them. Right now though, he was all she had and she yearned for his comfort.

When she looked back towards the spot she last saw Duncan, he had vanished, for a moment that worried her. He had been the strength and the leader after they stormed off the grounds and away from Cousland Castle. Pointing them in the right direction, giving them orders to follow. He had kept their mind on escape instead of what they needed to escape from. Part of her wondered if the pace he set had been to keep them from breaking down emotionally and now his departure was to give them time to do it before heading back out.

Then strong arms pulled her into an embrace, that momentarily frightened her. When she turned she saw Aedan’s dark brown eyes filled with tears and he buried his face into the top of her head. She could feel his body shaking as he sobbed and she felt herself let go as well. She had never seen him cry, not when his Mabari hound died, not when he was spanked by Nan for some mischief. Now he was resting a good deal of his weight on her and she was afraid her own knees would buckle under the strain of it all. She rubbed his back and the two only broke the embrace when Duncan reappeared and made a loud banging noise. Aedan turned to hide his tears, but Sara turned to see Duncan not looking at them as he continued to rummage through his meager supplies, giving them time to recover and mask the rest of their sadness. It wasn’t a show of strength and they had been taught to always appear strong, so tears embarrassed them and even Sara felt her face flush a deeper shade of red.

“We’ll be arriving in Ostagar by the evening,” Duncan announced as he bent down and started a fire. They were in a small clearing beside a dusty trade road, they didn’t fear being pursued, not here this far south of Highever. Howe’s men surely had counted the bodies and missed them among the dead. Sara had expected to be ambushed at any time, but they probably were moving significantly faster than any army, that had to regroup and reorganize, and do their own counting of their own losses as well.

“Can’t we travel slower?” Aedan asked, “I don’t think Sara is taking to the trip, having to ride off the saddle.”

“I’m fine,” Sara lied, every muscle and bone from her knees upward had been strained and jarred the entire way.

“No, we can’t slow down much more,” Duncan answered causing Aedan to frown.

“Maybe you should just leave me,” Sara said causing both men to look at her. “I mean not here, just in the next place we come to.”

“They’ll be hunting for you, Sara,” Aedan countered, “Arl Howe’s plot to kill everyone didn’t work, he still has witnesses to his crime.”

“What did he stand to gain?” Sara asked, “You can’t just take a Terynship by force, there has to be something else.”

“Titles have been taken in that manner since the beginning,” Duncan said, “how do you think your family got to where it was?”

“Our ancestors were heroes in battle,” Aedan said crossing his arms, “we didn’t murder innocents for it.”

“I’m saying there are more than one path, more than one way to gain power, but someone always has to lose it first,” Duncan said, his voice calm and direct. “Howe has crippled one of the only two Teyrnirs left in all of Ferelden, he’ll seize that power as his own.” 

“That bastard,” Aedan spat and Sara’s own anger raged through her, but she kept quiet as she massaged some of the stiffness out of her arms.

Duncan disappeared back into the woods and this time was gone for a few hours. Aedan had kept the fire by going into the forest and retrieving more dead wood when they ran out. No one stopped to bother them as they waited, still lost in their own minds. Sara was surprised that her mind was filled more with anger and the need for revenge than the sadness over the loss of most of her family and she was glad that those emotions were stronger. She also wondered if Nahli had been able to escape. Not seeing her body as they made their way into the larder had to be a good sign that the crafty elven maid had made it out alive.

By midday the sun began to bake Sara’s skin so she retreated to the shade trees lining the forest and Duncan finally returned holding three skinned animals skewered with sticks, ready for roasting. He handed one to Sara, who grimaced, then the second to Aedan, but this was the first piece of meat they would be having, living off stale bread and warm water. Her stomach was empty, so she fought back her repulsion and held it over the fire rotating it every few seconds so that it cooked evenly.

“So how many Grey Wardens are waiting for you in Ostagar?” Aedan asked as he tested the doneness of his own roasting animal. Not satisfied he put it back into the fire.

“One, but there are other recruits,” Duncan answered pulling his out and checking it as well.

“Why such a small number?” Aedan asked watching Duncan tear into his meat with a small hunting dagger, pulling a small chunk off the bone and eating it.

“The darkspawn threat is all over Ferelden and some senior members like myself are away recruiting,” Duncan answered then Sara let out a small shriek causing Aedan to jump. He turned to see Sara shaking her finger, her animal discarded on the ground.

“Burnt myself,” Sara said before sticking the tip of her finger in her mouth. Shaking his head he looked over at Duncan, his eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement as well.

“So am I to become a Grey Warden then?” Aedan asked as Sara listened as she blew on the animal trying to blow away the dirt and grass that had collected on it after she dropped it.

“Yes,” Duncan answered, although Aedan knew it was a sort of repayment for getting him and his sister out alive, his heart still raced, anticipating it.

“But he can’t!” Sara said looking over at Duncan as she jabbed her animal back into the fire. “What if something has happened to Fergus, Dad is gone, that would leave Aedan as the…”

“Come on Sara,” Aedan interrupted smiling, “Fergus is fine, he’s had a larger head start than we had and he has his men.”

“It was the agreement with Bryce, that I take a recruit,” Duncan said, “the Grey Wardens don’t care about societal classe systems. Ser Gilmore died when the Main Hall was taken.”

“You took an agreement from a dying man,” Sara countered, her voice rising, “he had no choice but to agree to your terms.” 

“Sara,” Aedan warned shaking his head.

“Your sister is fine in her concern,” Duncan said offering Sara a smile, “but you are also in line for Teyrn, the class as you know, doesn’t go by gender.”

“Fergus is alive anyway, he has to be,” Aedan said, “don’t worry about it Sara, it’s all too far away to worry about it now.”

“Father didn’t want that life for you,” she whispered, hoping Duncan didn’t hear, but Aedan only shrugged her off and began eating. Grimacing she pulled hers from the fire again, this time being more careful to check. Satisfied she plucked a few large leaves from a nearby tree to make a makeshift dinner plate then gingerly picked the meat apart before eating any of it.

“Let’s get back on the road,” Duncan ordered just as Sara had finished eating, he seemed to have been impatiently waiting for her to finish for a little while. Sara watched Aedan and Duncan saddle the horses and she groaned as Aedan pulled her back onto the large black stallion. The horses, having rested a few hours were at a quicker pace, but their gaits were still rough. They rode through the waning hours of the afternoon. To fight through the pain Sara watched the sun’s progression around the sky as it set and looked at the shadows now cast amongst them. The only drawback was that it let her mind wander back hours before, back when she was awoken by her Mother’s screams. She replayed the scene the way her memory allowed, she saw herself killing Howe’s soldier and felt herself shudder. She had never thought, through all her training lessons with her mother that she would have to use it. She had been angry enough then, but she wasn’t a fighter. She had been brought up to think that women of her rank didn’t do that, didn’t have to, that her father Bryce and his parents had sacrificed so much to get them to where they were, so that she didn’t have to struggle. So that she could be a lady. Looking back now settling down with Dairren seemed easy and right; the expectation no longer seemed like a trap. She could have grown to be happy there in Highever with family. Now that it was all taken from her and what waited ahead of her only more threatening made her want to laugh at ever wanting something different.

As twilight fell on them a large stone fortress broke through the horizon, ghostly white. It looked like a large ruin nestled into a growth of forest trying to reclaim it, but still it seemed to keep most of its grandness. Duncan had led them from Highever to Ostagar in just a few days time. Their bodies would need time to recover and the horses likely never would be the same, but he had gotten them there safely, his promise and agreement to their father was kept. 

On arrival they met King Cailan and Teyrn Loghain coming back from battle, their eyes bloodshot, their bodies tense. Seeing Duncan, Cailan smiled, his spirits seemingly lifted, the exhaustion from a long battle and the loss of men forgotten. Duncan slid off his horse, grabbing his broadsword from the saddle sheath and sliding it in the sheath on his waist. Not wanting to fall from the horse again, Sara held firmly to the saddle as Aedan maneuvered his leg around her, then he held her steady as she climbed down.

“Duncan, you’re back,” Cailan greeted, shaking hands with Duncan as Aedan and Sara took out their own weapons and attached them to their sword belts.

“Good to see you well, King Cailan,” Duncan greeted bowing his head.

“As if anything could happen to me,” Cailan scoffed, “barely any darkspawn came at us last night, or even the last few nights, I feel the battle is mostly won already.”

“Any word from Arl Eamon, Bryce Cousland also should have been here by now,” Teyrn Loghain said frowning at Duncan, not really wanting to ask Duncan many questions if he could keep from it.

“I see you’ve found recruits,” Cailan commented before Duncan could have a chance to respond. Cailan stepped around to greet Aedan and Sara, who were still standing behind Duncan awaiting instruction or to be introduced. “Wait a minute, you are Bryce’s, are you not?”

“Yes,” Aedan answered, “we’ve met a few times and you know my sister Sara.”

“Yes of course,” Cailan said, “where’s your old man, him and Eamon not skipping out on us are they?”

“King Cailan,” Duncan said stepping between Cailan and Aedan before Aedan could say anything, as Aedan’s expression faltered from strained politeness to an angry grimace. “Arl Howe turned his men against the Couslands after Fergus led the main army here to Ostagar, Bryce and Teryna Eleanor are dead. Howe wanted no witness to his crime and made to slaughter the entire family.”

“No, that doesn’t sound,” Cailan started then looked towards Sara and Aedan, “I’ll see to him after we are through here in Ostagar. He will be punished.”

“Is that it?” Aedan asked, “He kills my parents, my nephew, and burns our Castle to the ground…”

“Aedan,” Sara hissed, “he can’t be in two places at once.”

“I’m sorry Aedan, with the Darkspawn threat the country needs me here,” King Cailan said placing his hand on Aedan’s shoulder, I’m sure you’ll want to see Fergus, but he is out scouting in the Korcari wilderness and hasn’t reported back.”

“Aedan, I want you to go into the fort, find Alistair, tell him to gather the other recruits and come see me,” Duncan ordered, “Sara, you can go with him if you like or locate one of the Mothers and they will find you lodging.”

“Yes sir,” Aedan responded then stepped around King Cailan with Sara walking beside him. Sara knew from the set of his shoulders and the quick pace that he was still angry and it was better not to say anything until he started talking again. “Where in the hell are we supposed to find this Alistair guy?”

“Maybe ask someone,” Sara said shrugging her shoulders, “hey look there, mages!” Aedan did stop to look at a group of mages performing some sort of spell, but he didn’t linger like Sara had wanted and he set off again towards a group of soldiers.

Aedan didn’t look like he was going to ask anyone about Alistair as he stomped around, not even knowing what Alistair looked like, Sara was thinking that he had to be someone like Duncan, rugged and weather beaten with scars marring his figure.

“It would be nice to know what he looks like,” Aedan grunted kicking a rock out of his way. Looking around Sara saw a white haired woman leaning against a tree with a tent erected beside it. She glanced at Aedan, he was looking up at the sky shaking his head. Sighing, Sara walked over to the woman offering her a shy smile when the woman noticed her approaching.

“Sorry to bother you,” Sara said, “but the Grey Warden Duncan sent us to find Alistair and we really don’t know what he looks like.”

“You must be new recruits,” the woman said, “I’m Wynne.”

“I’m not a recruit, my brother, he is,” Sara countered glancing behind her to see Aedan watching her.

“Odd that you’re traveling with him, knowing what he’ll have to do,” Wynne commented causing Sara to turn back and look at the older woman. She seemed to be studying Sara, but then she offered a small smile.

“I have nowhere else to be,” Sara said, her voice trembling. If Wynne noticed, she didn’t let on, the small smile never faltered.

“I saw Alistair walk up that walkway a few moments ago,” Wynne offered pointing towards an elevated stone walkway.

“Thank you,” Sara offered turning to go back to Aedan.

“Why don’t you come back here and get cleaned up, if you’re not a recruit you’ll be in the way,” Wynne said, “I’ll warm some water for you.” Sara nodded offering her another smile as she turned back to Aedan motioning for him to follow her.

As they walked up the walkway another Mage pushed through them mumbling to himself. Sara grabbed hold of Aedan when he made to follow the mage and as they entered the small darkened area a man in splint mail armor was standing in the center of it shaking his head, his back to them.

“Back again, are you?” Alistair asked, frowning as he turned around, seeing Aedan and Sara standing there though Alistair’s eyebrows raised, “You’re not, nevermind, who are you?”

“Are you Alistair?” Aedan asked ignoring him, still fuming over the lack of action King Cailan offered, Sara wondered if Aedan was about to break.

“That’s me,” he said, “you aren’t mages are you?”

“Of course not,” Aedan answered glancing down at Sara.

“Well then you must be the new recruits,” he said, “or recruit, Duncan didn’t say anything about a…”

“I’m not a recruit,” Sara interrupted wanting to shy away from Alistair as he studied her.

“You two look an awful lot alike,” Alistair commented glancing between Sara and Aedan. Sara looked down at her feet and she heard Aedan sigh.

“Duncan told me to find you and help you round up the other recruits,” Aedan said and he watched Alistair’s eyes harden and his shoulders set.

“Dread hour is near then, well let’s get on with it,” Alistair said then hesitated before leading the way turning to Sara, “sorry only recruits from here on out.”

“I figured,” Sara countered, for a moment her heart leapt, wanting to follow Aedan, but she knew what that meant, that she too would have to become a Grey Warden, and that was something that she refused. “Aedan I’ll be, well I don’t know where I’ll be when you’re done.”

“I’ll find you,” Aedan said patting Sara’s shoulder hesitating briefly. It looked like Alistair wanted to say something, but he thought better of it as he motioned for Aedan to follow him. Sara could hear him talking to Aedan, but not getting much of a response from her brother. She followed them at a distance until she found Wynne’s tent.

“Come in,” Wynne ordered just beyond the closed door. When Sara entered she felt the warmth of a fire, the smoke billowing out through a hole in the top. Plush pillows were laid across one side forming a makeshift bedding area and there was a small screen separating one section of the tent from the rest. “Your warm bathing water is on the other side.”

“You really don’t have to do this,” Sara said, but she stepped around the screen, seeing a dressing gown laid out for her, a drying towel, a cake of what smelled like lavender soap, she let out a long sigh.

“You look like you have a lot going on that a meager wash won’t fix,” Wynne said as she tended the fire preparing what Sara thought looked like soup, “so it is the least I can do.”

Sara smiled as she dipped the washcloth into the water, feeling the warmth spreading over her hand and up her arm. She fumbled around with her light armor until it was in a filthy pile at her feet. Then she took the washcloth and rubbed it over her arms and along her body, then she dipped the cake of lavender soap into the water, rubbing it over the washcloth until a nice light purple lather formed. She slowly washed herself taking her time, thinking this could be the last real bath she was going to have for awhile. Then she leaned over the bowl and carefully washed her hair, drying what spilled as best she could with her damp washcloth. Then she dried herself with the towel before stepping into the gown. The fabric was thin and soft, not really suited for the cool night air, but she was thankful to be out of the armor that smelled of sweat and horses. She gathered up her armor and carried it with her as she walked around the screen where Wynne waited. She already had a bowl of soup waiting for her.

“I feel a lot better,” Sara said as she placed the dirty armor just inside the opening of the tent. Wynne studied it there for a few moments then grabbed a wood handled brush off one of the pillows on the floor.

“Drink the soup and I’ll brush your hair,” Wynne said and she stepped around Sara. Sara only hesitated a few moments, she hadn’t eaten anything for awhile and although Wynne’s touch with the brush was rough compared to Nahli’s she welcomed it.

“Are you here to fight the Darkspawn?” Sara asked after a few sips of the soup. It had a strong earthy taste, but a warmth began to spread throughout her body, deep within her sore muscles and bones, it seemed to loosen the tension and soreness so Sara kept drinking.

“Among other things,” Wynne answered in a tone that said she wouldn’t be answering anymore questions along that line.

“What is this stuff?” Sara asked looking down at her empty bowl, the soup had completely rejuvenated her, more so than the bath.

“A restorative soup,” Wynne answered, “I have to make it for the mages anyway, so I figured you could use a bowl after your trip.”

“You have been too kind,” Sara commented and Wynne stopped brushing out her hair.

“Don’t mistake this for kindness, dear,” Wynne countered, “I’m more curious as to why you are here, none of this suits you.”

“How can you tell?” Sara asked turning her head slightly to glance behind her.

“It isn’t easily missed,” Wynne answered and her tone felt like an insult that Sara didn’t appreciate. “I must warn you, that ladies won’t last long out here.”

“You are a lady,” Sara countered as Wynne started to braid Sara’s hair.

“No, I am a woman,” Wynne said, “I know what I must do to survive and you are drowning.”

“You don’t know that, not really,” Sara argued trying to hide the anger in her voice after all the nice things Wynne done, she didn’t want to throw that back into her face with the tantrum she felt coming on. It would prove Wynne’s point besides and Sara didn’t want to give her the benefit.

“I saw it when you first looked at me for help,” Wynne said with a sigh, “the world we’re all going to be living in for quite some time will not wait for you to catch on.”

“What are you really saying?” Sara asked as Wynne stood, she gently pulled the braid around to rest on her shoulder the same way Nahli did, the gesture brought tears to her eyes.

“You shove your armor and weapons to the side like trash,” Wynne commented looking down at the pile of filthy armor. “When that could mean the difference between living and dying.”

“I’m not made for all this, I know that,” Sara said as she stood ready to leave the tent, “you don’t have to tell me.”

“I’m just telling you to make this night your last as a lady and rise in the morning as someone that will survive all this,” Wynne added ignoring Sara as she sat down and took a few drinks out of a second bowl. “Your brother will be killed watching your back instead of his own if you don’t.”

“Tomorrow I’ll find my brother Fergus here, they’ll send me somewhere else, out of all this,” Sara countered no longer hiding her tears. “I’ll not die out here and have them watch me suffer, they’ll see to it that I don’t.”

“We’re in a war with Darkspawn, there may be no more mornings for any of us,” Wynne said, “take care of your armor, prepare yourself for a life out here, if there was an alternative, the alternative would have already been met.”

“You think you know everything,” Sara hissed, “my parents were just murdered by our dear friend Arl Howe and we had to flee here, Duncan didn’t have time to take me to Denerim or to, or to, Lady Isolde in Redcliffe.”

“I hope you understand that you’re here to see it through,” Wynne whispered, “for your sake I hope you’ll wake up and realize it, now go, there is lodging for nursemaids and chantry women down the path to the left. The Chantry Mothers will set you up.”

Not looking back Sara grabbed her filthy armor, holding it away from herself, and stepped out of the tent wearing just the thin gown and a pair of slippers. Neither did anything to fight back the cold that had fallen over Ostagar. She took Wynne’s advice, even though she wanted to be stubborn and wait for Aedan to come back for her, but she didn’t know when that would be. So she walked until she saw a row of tan colored tents, smaller and less appealing than Wynne’s.

“You need lodging,” a chantry mother said when Sara approached.

“Why does everyone know what I need?” Sara asked feeling exasperated.

“The fear reads on your face, dear,” the chantry mother answered offering her a warm smile. “I’m Mother Tania, pleased to meet you.” 

“Sara Cousland,” Sara said, “and yes Mother, I do need lodging for the night.”

“Follow me,” Mother Tania said and she walked through the rows of tents to one in the back next to a crackling fire. She threw a few more sticks onto the hot embers, bringing it back to life. “I believe the bedding to the left is open.”

“Thank you,” Sara said, but Mother Tania only smiled and walked back through the rows of tents, leaving her to stand awkwardly for a few moments. She still didn’t know what to do with the armor so she knelt and entered the tent. She shoved the armor at the back of her side of the tent, but kept her war axes close to herself, she had lost her bow and arrows along the way. Then she collapsed onto the bed, burying her head in the pillows and let the stress of the evening fall onto her shoulders and allowed herself to cry. This time though Nahli wouldn’t come to her, wouldn’t sit and wait her out until she could talk through her sobs. She was alone and she wondered if Wynne was trying to prepare her for a lifetime of loneliness like this. She wondered what the old woman had endured to have that outlook on the world, it differed too much from what she knew. Right now all she wanted was to forget all about Wynne, forget that her parents were dead, that Fergus was out there in the still blackness of night, scouting the wilderness. That Aedan might be taken away from her, and that there were a horde of darkspawn biding their time until they sent another attack against King Cailan’s men. Suddenly Wynne’s warnings didn’t seem all that hollow, but she doubted she could survive long enough to catch up.


	3. Chapter 3

Sara had fallen asleep before the woman sharing her tent had returned. She glanced over to see the bedding tidy, but there were signs someone had been sleeping there. Wynne’s restorative soup only left a few lingering muscle aches, from the days of traveling to Ostagar, only bruises marred her skin, but even those showed signs of healing. Rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes she looked down at the edge of the tent to see the only clothes she had that suited daylight was her dirty armor. She grimaced as she gathered it and struggled until she dressed herself. It was the first time she dressed herself in the unforgiving armor by herself, but she thought she had done it correctly.

Stepping out, there was still a chill in the air and a dampness. There was an overcast sky as she looked up. Remembering Aedan, her stomach twisted. He hadn’t come to find her last night and she wondered where he had gone. There were plenty of people bustling around as she started walking the walkways between camps. 

When she stepped out into the central area of the fortress her heart began to race, there were a lot of soldiers and people here as well, but none of them were Aedan, she didn’t see Duncan either. The thought of losing him or being left behind came back to her. Would the Grey Wardens even allow her to travel with them? Remembering Alistair’s awkward dismissal last night, she shuddered thinking about the prospect of being here, although with her brother, but alone because she didn’t have a place. She didn’t have anything that caused her to wake early, she was nothing, but useless. She was used to not having many responsibilities, but it never bothered her until now, not when it seemed she was the only one not doing anything of importance.

“There you are,” Aedan said approaching from the side, followed by Alistair, “where have you been?”

“Around this place looking for you,” Sara lied, not wanting to tell her brother that she had just awakened. She studied him, although worn down and tired, his mouth was playing with a smile and his eyes seemed brighter. He no longer looked as if he was ready to explode and unleash his rage onto the next person that crossed his path the wrong way.

“You smell like horses and flowers,” Aedan said wrinkling his nose, then he rolled his eyes, “you haven’t cleaned your armor, have you?”

“Nahli always kept…” Sara started then looked behind Aedan to Alistair who started laughing.

“Brother and sister bickering,” Alistair said moving forward to stand beside Aedan, “are you not going to tell her the good news?”

“I was getting to it,” Aedan countered glancing at Alistair before he took a breath, puffing out his chest. “I’ve done it, the ritual, I…”

“Can’t tell her what it was,” Alistair interrupted, “and besides it’d probably scare the boots off her.”

“So you’re a Grey Warden now?” Sara asked studying Aedan more closely, Duncan was the first Grey Warden she had saw, but she still didn’t see any similarities between him and her brother. Aedan and Alistair’s youth were the only thing the two of them shared as well, apart from the same amused grin.

“We have to go though, just wanted to find and make sure you were okay,” Aedan said, “Duncan wants us there when King Cailan strategizes with him.”

“You are coming back?” Sara asked grabbing his elbow as he went to turn around.

“Bring her along,” Alistair said, “King Cailan having a go at Teyrn Loghain can be a show.”

“Is she allowed, Duncan…” Aedan started, but Sara tightened her grasp on Aedan’s elbow.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Sara countered her face flushing.

“Duncan is a good man, he’ll understand,” Alistair said, “don’t want her wandering around, other women here apart from soldiers are Mages and Chantry Mothers and they both scare the hell out of everyone.”

“What does he mean by that?” Sara whispered when Alistair began leading the way towards the meeting place with Duncan.

“He meant,” Aedan said through gritted teeth looking around and shooting glares at the men they passed, “that you stick out.”

“Stick out?” Sara asked looking around herself as well.

“Like a piece of meat in a Mabari kennel, I’m afraid,” Alistair said glancing at them. Aedan shot him a glare, but then turned to study Sara’s face. He watched as she tried to figure out what Alistair had meant, then he watched as her mouth fell open.

“Oh my,” Sara said as her face paled, “you don’t think they would, you know, try anything.”

“No,” Aedan countered offering her a smile, “and I’ll kill anyone that even thinks about it.”

“Have you seen Fergus?” Sara asked changing the subject. They were heading back to the same area they found Alistair last night, it was an area shaded by large trees and stone pillars. In the darkness it looked small, but now Sara looked and saw it was a large enclosed space and at the end of it was a wooden table surrounded by a Mage, Teryn Loghain, King Cailan, and Duncan already in a loud discussion.

“Still scouting,” Aedan answered in a hushed voice as they approached.

“Where are the other Wardens?” Sara asked, Aedan ignored her curiosity, but she didn’t miss the grimace that crossed his face as if he was remembering something horrible. She probably never would get the answer, but she realized after they arrived, no one else would be joining them.

“Alistair,” Duncan said bowing his head slightly, but then frowned when his gaze fell on Sara. “You were just supposed to check in with Miss Cousland, not…”

“She stays with me,” Aedan countered, then softened his tone, “at least until Fergus comes back from scouting.”

“He’ll likely not be back until the final push,” King Cailan said, “his men are hunting down disbanding darkspawn before they get past our line. But it’s fine she’s welcome to stay.” King Cailan offered her a smile that she returned, her forced politeness forced into her by her upbringing, even though her heart sank, Fergus’ protection always soothed her anxiety better. 

She refused to look around at everyone else, not wanting to see the carefully veiled displeasure everyone had when a King made unpopular decisions. Sara did remove her grip on Aedan’s elbow and stood beside him as they approached the wooden table. She looked down and saw that it was a map of Ostagar and the wilderness. Her eyes darted to the far north, finding Highever on the map, although the scale didn’t seem that large, Sara knew she was now the farthest from home she had ever been. That it was likely she’ll never go back.

“Let’s get on with this then,” Teyrn Loghain said, his impatience not masked at all. He was looking at King Cailan who was still looking at the three of them with a welcoming expression.

“I believe Duncan’s plan with the tower is a strong one,” King Cailan announced turning to a second map on the table, it was the fortress. There was a shaded area labeled battle field, and another, where the darkspawn approached.

“You put too much trust in the Wardens,” Loghain hissed, Sara turned to see the glare Duncan shot him, but he allowed the King to defend his own plan.

“The first advance will drive and scatter the darkspawn, but we need a more organized assault after the first wave,” King Cailan countered, “we need Duncan’s Wardens to light the tower, it’s the only way you will know when to send your men.”

“It is too large of a responsibility for them,” Loghain argued his distaste in the plan made Sara shudder and she noticed Aedan and Alistair grow tense, looking like they were ready to explode.

“Alistair will lead the way, Teyrn Loghain,” Duncan said, “the signal will be lit, the darkspawn has always been our priority.”

“It’s settled then,” King Cailan said before Teyrn Loghain could argue he slapped Loghain on the shoulder, then walked around the table ignoring Loghain’s disapproval as he followed after his son-in-law King.

“Loghain that nug bastards if I…” Alistair started then fell silent when Duncan raised an eyebrow.

“You know the plan,” Duncan interrupted as Sara wondered what a nug was, thought the meeting was over, but Alistair stepped towards Duncan.

“Why can’t someone else light the tower signal?” Alistair asked, not hiding the whining tone in his voice. “I want to be on the front with you.”

“The tower signal is of the most importance, without it, organizing the battle will fail,” Duncan said gesturing for the three of them to follow him.

“How will we know when to even light the blasted thing?” Alistair asked and Aedan glanced down at Sara smirking.

“A Mage, if you are finished angering them, will send a signal to you, she will be stationed behind the archers,” Duncan explained then turned around, stopping Alistair’s pursuit. “It is the only way Loghain will know and I don’t trust this task with anyone, but you.”

“I’d rather be fighting with you,” Alistair countered and Sara was surprised at the longing that broke through Alistair’s voice. He was no longer addressing someone of higher rank, but someone he considered a friend.

“They’ll be more battles to fight after this,” Duncan said clapping Alistair’s shoulder. “Now go eat, rest, and ready yourselves.”

“Where will you be?” Alistair asked, but Duncan nodded his head towards the bickering King Cailan and Teyrn Loghain as they retreated towards their lodging tents.

“Do you think I’m allowed to follow you?” Sara whispered after Alistair stormed off with Aedan and Sara following quickly behind him. It wasn’t difficult to see that Alistair hated the plan, but wasn’t going to argue with Duncan any longer. Instead he gave a quick wave for them to follow him then started ignoring them as he led them towards the area where soldiers were gathered around to find food.

“I don’t want you to,” Aedan answered, “I want you right here with the Chantry Mothers.”

“I don’t think I could take it being left here,” Sara countered looking up at Aedan. “I don’t think I could stand all the thoughts that would...”

“And I don’t think I could handle you being in danger,” Aedan said offering her a smile. “The Chantry Mothers will look after you.”

“Not like we’ll see any action up there in that blasted tower,” Alistair barked as he found the back of the line for the food, he turned to look at them.

“Then I won’t be in any danger if I come along,” Sara said crossing her arms.

“Better let her win,” Alistair said smiling at Aedan, “been raised by women most my life, I know that look.” Sara wondered what her expression was, but she smiled.

“I’m just afraid about something a mage woman said,” Sara whispered, “she made it seem like I’ll be alone pretty soon. Will Duncan make you leave me behind after this?”

“Likely,” Alistair answered when Aedan looked to him for an answer, “but like I said, he’s a good man, he’ll make sure you’re safe before that.”

“And you’ll have Fergus,” Aedan added, “he can’t stay in the wilderness forever.”

“I wished he’d come back now,” Sara sighed, “and still I don’t want to be the one to tell him about…”

“I know,” Aedan said when Sara couldn’t bring herself to finish. Alistair looked like he understood, so Sara knew that Aedan or Duncan had told him what had happened, but he didn’t say anything.

It took them awhile waiting in line for the food. When they finally reached it Sara frowned, all that was left was cold stu and stale bread, but her hunger was still satiated by the end of it. It was Aedan and Alistair, she noticed that seemed to be trying to scrape the wooden bowl clean. She wondered just how bad the rest of the men felt, the ones that had outlasted more nights than them, fighting darkspawn. Looking around some were limping, some sat around a small fire alone. Others seemed to be in better spirits and then others sought out the Chantry Mothers for prayer and council. Sara had never seen much of this back at Castle Cousland, but she wasn’t allowed around the barracks and guard quarters where the soldiers stayed. She didn’t know how they coped with being away from family, but still at the Castle there were no battles being fought and definitely no darkspawn.

“So Alistair,” Sara said after they were sitting around a fire, waiting for Duncan to return with orders. She was trying to forget that another long night was quickly approaching, that Duncan may overrule her plan to stay with Aedan as they went to light the signal tower. That Aedan would be fighting monsters that everyone in Ferelden knew existed, but seemed like fairy tale, because she had never seen one. He turned to look at her, with a guarded expression, his eyebrows raised, she nearly lost her nerve to talk to him, but she needed the distraction. “Have you fought any darkspawn?”

“Of course,” Alistair said, “all Grey Wardens have.”

“Aedan hasn’t,” Sara countered playfully, turning to Aedan.

“I have,” Aedan answered, “last night…”

“Damn,” Alistair hissed, “we’re not supposed to tell people.”

“Well you kind of already did,” Aedan countered smirking.

“I know, I sort of did, I’m not good at this” Alistair groaned rubbing his temples, “it’s so hard to keep all these secrets. Be easier if she was one too, since she insists on tagging along.”

“Are there women Wardens?” Sara asked raising an eyebrow.

“Not as many as I’d like, but yeah,” Alistair answered, “mages, dwarves, elves, men, women, doesn’t matter as long as they want to kill darkspawn.”

“Where are the other recruits?” Sara asked again, she hoped she’d get the answer this time, but both men frowned and looked away. She studied both of them until Aedan glanced back at her and slightly shook his head. Her first thought was that they had failed whatever ritual Duncan had for them in order to join, but the sadness in their expressions spoke of more than failure.

“Look, no more Warden questions,” Alistair said, “the more you know, the more Duncan will yell at me.”

“Fine,” Sara said smiling as she picked up a stray twig and started poking it into the fire. “You can tell me about Duncan, where did he come from? Was he a soldier? Does he have…”

“She asks a lot of questions,” Alistair interrupted turning to Aedan.

“She’s annoying that way,” Aedan added, “couldn’t get away with anything without her running off to tell Mother.”

“If you had only included me,” Sara hissed jabbing the stick into the fire more violently, sending a flurry of sparks into the air. The desperate need to distract herself from the inevitable nightfall wasn’t happening and she was growing more angry with the two of them for not cooperating with her. They had to know that she was close to falling completely apart out here only to be dragged away from Aedan, the only family she knew was still out there, for he was sitting right next to her. The moment the darkspawn were driven back into their mountain dwellings they would follow and she would not. Although she longed for comfort, she doubted she would actually find any without family and right now Aedan was the only family she was certain still existed. Even he seemed more distant to her now, so much that she already felt she missed him.

“The days here are worse than the nights,” Alistair commented looking around at the people around them. “All these poor slobs with nothing to do. Although the stench is the same night and day.”

“That reminds me,” Aedan said and he reached into a pouch and presented Sara a dingy looking rag and a bottle containing a liquid. “This will clean your armor and keep the leather from drying and cracking.”

“I don’t see myself needing this much longer,” Sara said pointing to her chest, the metal glinted dully from the light of the fire. She noticed that the two men’s armors were glossy, they had already found time to clean it.

“But you still smell like the rear end of a horse,” Alistair said and she shot him a look. Aedan laughed and gently shoved the bottle and cloth in her hands.

“You can do it right here, you don’t have to take it off,” Aedan said thinking that the only reason Sara didn’t want to, was the fear of leaving their side.

“Fine,” Sara relented pulling the cork from the bottle she dampened the cloth. The oil had a scent that caused her nose to burn, she then held out her arm and rubbed the cloth over the metal and the leather. She saw that the oil washed away the dirt and dried blood easily enough and the leather had started to dry, after rubbing the oiled cloth over it, she felt that she could move her arms better. Liking the way it looked, she quickly did her other arm and then stretched her legs out in front of her and used the oil and polishing cloth on them as well.

“We probably should buy you proper lining and chainmail,” Aedan said, but Sara shook her head.

“Like I said, I don’t see myself needing it,” Sara countered as she poured the last bit of oil onto the rag and started polishing her breast plate. When she heard a noise that sounded somewhere between a stifled cough and a snort she looked up just in time to see Alistair looking away from her with a smile on his face and although she couldn’t tell because of the fire, she thought she saw his cheeks flush.

When she was finished she didn’t know what to do with the empty bottle or the cloth, but Aedan took them from her and stashed them back into his bag. “You probably also need to get it out of your head that you don’t need your armor.”

“Why?” Sara asked and Aedan frowned, his mouth tense. She could tell he wanted to say something, but that he thought it was unpleasant and was thinking about the best way to do so.

“You heard what Duncan said, about Arl Howe,” Aedan said, his voice just over a whisper. She glanced at Alistair who was looking at her as well. She knew he could hear them, he was only sitting across the fire from them.

“I’m far away from Arl Howe,” Sara countered, trying to hide the rage and sadness caused by the mention of his name. His noble crest stood out in her memory of the soldier she killed in the bedroom tower.

“Anyone that knows you, will,” Aedan said then he glanced at Alistair, who nodded his head. She wondered just how much she had been discussed while she slept in the tent. “Anyone that knows you will also have heard by now about the attack, they will see you as one of the only living Couslands in their way.”

“I don’t think anyone wants a burned down castle Aedan and titles are more difficult to take,” Sara argued rolling her eyes. “Arl Howe already has his power over it wrapped up anyway.”

“Only until you, Fergus, or Aedan comes to claim it,” Alistair said, “Arl Howe has a lot of friends and you have a bounty on your head.”

“Me?” Sara scoffed, “Fergus maybe, but not me, he’s the new Teyrn of Highever, all he has to do is reclaim it from Howe. King Cailan will help.”

“But he won’t be able to protect you when we separate,” Aedan hissed turning his attention to her, he leaned forward turning Sara completely around to face him. “You will be alone, apart from Arl Eamon and his wife Isolde, you can trust no one. Not even Loghain.”

“I’ve never liked Loghain myself, those dodgy beady little eyes,” Alistair said with a grimace, “reminds me of a rat really.” 

“I don’t want to be alone,” Sara whispered, the warning Wynnee made the night before rushing into her thoughts. Everyone that looked at her and knew who she was, knew the outcome of all this. They knew it before she did. That after Ostagar she very well could be alone. Even Fergus would have to leave her to follow King Cailan in his march to reclaim their title and home and she didn’t even know when that would be. Even as she hoped Fergus was still alive, she couldn’t escape the lingering fear that he wasn’t. Aedan would be expected to follow Duncan. The thought caused a wave of nausea to strike her.

“Oh no, don’t do that,” Alistair said as Sara stood and ran behind the nearest tree, she fell to her knees and lost what meager dinner she had.

“I didn’t want to upset you,” Aedan said after Sara returned to the fire. “You need to realize what you are up against.”

“What will you do after all this?” Sara asked, but she didn’t wait for an answer. “Surely Duncan doesn’t lay claim to you like a slave.”

“Excuse me,” Alistair started, but she shot him a glare causing him to blink his eyes and look away.

“Duncan would let me see Arl Howe brought to justice,” Aedan said, “he’s already told me that.”

“Then why are you saying that I will be alone after this?” Sara asked, “Couldn’t you return home with me after Howe?”

“No,” Aedan answered, “and you know why already.”

“This isn’t what you could have wanted,” Sara countered, “if Father would have been able to get out of there alive he wouldn’t have made that promise.”

“I would have left anyway,” Aedan said, “Castle Cousland would only be a prison to me, following Dad and then Fergus’ every expectant demand. You didn’t want to be stuck there either with that Dairren and you never would have accepted Ser Gilmore…”

“Ser Gilmore!” Sara yelled Alistair and Aedan jumped at the sudden explosion. “I knew you were getting bored, but I never would have expected that you would turn your back…”

“I wasn’t,” Aedan interrupted, “but how could anyone live their whole life and not want to see all that they can?”

“I never would have been given that chance,” Sara whispered, Aedan shook his head.

“No you never would have taken it,” Aedan countered softening his expression when Sara winced.

“You don’t know anything about me then,” Sara said, but she even heard the truth in her voice. He was right, she never would have taken it. Being here only helped remind her as she looked around feeling more distinctly out of place than she did the first evening they arrived.

A rumble of thunder caused all three of them to look up at the sky. Alistair cursed under his breath as a premature twilight started to fall in around them. She wondered what Alistair thought about her. Does he see her as Wynne does? She could already see it in Aedan. They both knew she was weak, that she was holding onto things that were so far gone. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. The unspoken words that Wynne, and now Aedan, and even her Mother had never said, was that when there was only a veil between living and killing, to take action. That a moment or a time for it was coming or would come to her. Her Mother’s insistence on training should have been a clue, or a reminder, and definitely a warning. That things and people can crumble and only those strong enough to fight back might not. 

Turning away from the fire she saw Duncan approaching, clearing her voice she stood. Looking quickly around, being used to seeing his family do that when someone entered the room, Aeden stood.

“What’s wrong with you two now?” Alistair asked studying both of them.

“Alistair,” Duncan said, causing Alistair to jump and rush to stand.

“Dizzy,” Alistair said holding out his hand when Duncan went to speak. Sara saw Duncan fight to keep his composure, but the smile he was fighting seemed to be in his eyes. “Sorry Duncan.”

“It’s near time to make our way down,” Duncan said, “are you ready?”

“Yes, sir,” Alistair answered, “the plan still as it is?”

“Of course,” Duncan said then looked to the sky as it continued to darken. The wind had picked up, billowing smoke more violently into the air. Then Sara watched as his attention fell on her. He seemed to study the armor for a moment, his face falling into a frown. “The Chantry Mothers will be praying at the altar, but at least it is shielded from the storm. In a few moments you need to find them, say your goodbyes now.”

“I was hoping to go to the tower,” Sara said, hoping there was some strength in her voice, but she didn’t hear any.

“You are not a Grey Warden,” Duncan said raising an eyebrow, “and it was my impression that you didn’t want to fight and those that aren’t are praying with the Chantry Mothers.”

“I don’t want to be separated,” Sara countered forcing herself to hold his gaze, but he turned to Aedan.

“You have told her, haven’t you?” Duncan asked and Aedan nodded, glancing towards Sara as well.

“I don’t think she fully understands,” Aedan added, and when Sara glared at him he dropped his gaze to his feet.

“I understand perfectly,” Sara countered turning to Duncan, “that after this you will take my brother with you, wherever that is.”

“And you will travel to Redcliffe with King Cailan, he will look to Eamon since Eamon has been delayed, with no word,” Duncan said and Aedan and Sara saw Alistair look confused.

“I knew they were delayed,” Alistair said, “but it is not like Eamon to do this without a reason.”

“I know,” Duncan agreed, “that is why Cailan is going there, it will give him time to gain resources before turning his attention to Highever.”

“Where will you go?” Sara asked and all three men shot her different looks. Duncan looked amused, Alistair looked like he already knew what Duncan was going to say, and she looked to see Aedan trying to tell her to stop asking questions.

“Where I am needed,” Duncan answered, “It’s time to go, Alistair, Aeden.”

“I’m going with them,” Sara countered, but Duncan didn’t seem interested, he only turned with Alistair following him. Apparently leaving the task of talking to Sara to Aedan.

“I don’t see why you can’t just do as he says,” Aedan groaned, “this stubborn streak of yours has been a pain…”

“Be quiet,” Sara interrupted, “I already told you.”

“I can’t keep telling Duncan what to do,” Aedan sighed, “he is the senior member and I think he could be leading the entire order.”

“And you are…” Sara started, but Aedan held up his hand.

“A Grey Warden,” Aedan said shaking his head, “nothing else, not anymore.”

“He can’t keep you from your right by blood,” Sara hissed, glancing over her shoulder to see Alistair standing there alone, his back was to them and Sara saw Duncan retreating towards the battlefield. 

“But I can, Sara,” Aedan said, “now please stay here.”

“No,” Sara countered crossing her arms.

“He already said she can go,” Alistair commented rolling his eyes. “But in the morning expect him to not be in such a generous mood. Women they always get their way, it’s uncanny.”

“It will be all over soon,” Sara said, “we just have to make it through.”

“We’re just lighting the bloody tower,” Alistair said, “the same bloody tower that is protected and waiting.”

“Do you think he did it this way to protect you?” Sara asked as another round of thunder shook the ground beneath their feet. Alistair shot her a glare, but then his expression softened as he thought it over.

“Let’s get to the tower,” Alistair answered, Sara thought she heard a shakiness in his voice, a weakness that had never been there before. She glanced at Aedan, but he put his hand on her back and pushed her into motion before letting it fall back to his side.

By the time they reached the bridge to the tower, archers had already lined it and were setting arrows loose. There were sounds of metal clashing against metal, but a lot of the battle was swallowed by the storm. Archers were also firing ballistas as they fought the downpour as they ran towards the tower just on the other side of the bridge.

When they arrived Sara nearly ran into Aedan and Alistair, they had stopped at the end of the bridge. She squinted her eyes through the rain and saw figures darting around, only illuminated by the larger fires that were still battling the rain. It wouldn’t be long until darkness fell on them completely.

“You, Warden!” Someone yelled from the shadows, then ran to greet them. “We’ve been overrun by darkspawn, they attacked before the battle started.”

“What?” Alistair asked, his surprise all over his face when he turned to look at them.

“They’ve taken the tower,” he said, “you’ll have to fight your way through.”

“We need the beacon lit in the tower,” Alistair said, “come on.” 

The three of them stayed in the shadows as the fighting around them got worse the closer they got to the tower doors. Alistair and Aedan had drawn their swords as soon as the soldier had told them the news.

“Sara prepare yourself!” Aedan ordered when he saw that she was cowering behind him, shielding her eyes from the rain, her war axes still fastened to her belt.

“I can’t believe this,” Sara whispered, but she took hold of them and held them up.

Then out of the corner of her vision she saw figures breaking from the darkness. She turned, thinking it was more of Cailan’s army ready to help them make their way to the tower’s entrance. But the figures had an uneven lumbering gait, although as fast as a man, it wasn’t a human walk. She let out a scream that drowned out the sound of the storm around her when they were close enough to see. Their skin was the color of brackish water, they weren’t heavily armored, and it looked mismatched, like it had been collected from dead bodies and added as they went on. Their weapons stained with blood old and new. Their noses were small and skeletal, but it was the eyes, red, that seemed to shine in the darkness like a beast viewing into fire that unnerved her the most. She only had time to raise her axe before they clashed into Aedan and Alistair. They appeared to focus on them, her smaller stature not as threatening. Aedan was trying to keep her hidden behind him and Sara looked to see Alistair doing the same.

What neither of them did notice, couldn’t have seen, was the pair that were attacking from the other side of the narrow, dimly lit trail leading to the tower. Biting her lip, hoping to strengthen her resolve from the repulsion she felt when she looked at them as they fell upon the struggling group. When the first one swung a rusted sword she ducked, it missing her by inches, she surprised even herself when she brought the axe down, slicing it across the arm. It opened up a wide gash, causing the creature to emit a very shrill, but distinctly animalistic shriek. It turned its attention to her and she dislodged her axe and swung her other axe across her body aiming for its head. It ducked and fell aside, her axe only slicing into its shoulder. It let out another scream, that hurt her ears, and muffled her hearing. Without a weapon and injured, it backed away as another rushed her, but Sara threw the axe end over end like her Mother instructed her, and like she did the night Arl Howe’s men attacked their castle. She didn’t wait to see if it hit her target, she turned and saw that the other one had regained a sword, its bleeding arm from the first attack seemed to dangle limply at its side. Focused on her, he didn’t see Aedan turn and only had time to yell before he drove his sword into the creature’s chest.

“Don’t throw your axes,” Aedan said as the darkspawn now lay dead at their feet, “you only have two and you might not be able to retrieve them.”

“She hit him right between the eyes,” Alistair said holding her other axe, he handed it back to her, it had been cleaned of blood. “Someone’s had practice.”

“Mother taught her,” Aedan said, “I used to watch them train in the garden, my window overlooked it.”

“You never told me you watched, just that you knew...”

“Not the time to talk about this,” Alistair said then turned, they stopped talking as he led them to the tower doors.

The large wooden doors had been busted open when they arrived, it also looked as if the darkspawn had tried to burn the tower down completely, but the rain had extinguished most of it. The large stone tower seemed empty when they first stepped inside it. Then as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, only lit by torches leading to the stairs. They saw mangled bodies on the floor, human as well as darkspawn. Sara stepped away from the fallen mage at her feet. Alistair led the way to the stairs, then stopped and bent over one of the bodies.

“Can you shoot?” Alistair asked turning to her. In his hands he had a bow and a sheath of arrows. She grimaced seeing that the leather was stained with blood. “This poor bastard won’t need them.”

“I can shoot, yes,” Sara answered and he shoved the bow and arrows into her arms, aware of her repulsion to the blood stains.

“Take them and use them instead, only use your axes when you need to,” Alistair ordered, “they’ll be better than your axes. See more arrows, pick them up.”

“What do you mean?” Sara asked, but he ignored her and started up the stairs. Grimacing she ducked into the strap, and readied the bow as she followed them up the stairs.

The next couple of landings were the same as the ground floor, littered with bodies, no sound or sign of anyone living or any fighting. Sara was just thinking that the tower was already empty when a jarring crash sounded in the floor above. Aedan opened the door and both men shouldered inside. The growls that erupted caused Sara to hesitate, but she forced herself into the room. She readied her bow, focused on the brackish skin of the darkspawn as she aimed. Letting the first arrow loose, she cursed under her breath as it hit the wall beside the advancing figure. They were focused on her brother and Alistair, their swords cutting through wooden shields and the makeshift armor. Aiming more carefully this time she let her second arrow loose and it sank into the shoulder of the darkspawn creature Aedan was battling. Hindered by the injured arm, it could no longer protect itself and Aedan was able to kick out with his foot and knock it back far enough to swing his sword around. Sara grimaced when the severed head hit the ground before the creature’s body.

“Thanks,” Aedan yelled as he rushed to help Alistair. Looking around the small landing Sara saw that it was empty, the only moving shadows were of those from Aedan and Alistair as they dispatched the last two darkspawn in the room.

“So you shoot to save yourself or your brother,” Alistair said breathing heavily, “what did I ever do to you?”

“Sorry,” Sara said smiling despite her surroundings, “I’m not used to all this.”

“Well let’s hope it grows on you before the next landing then,” Alistair said and he led them up the next curved flight of stairs to the next floor. Sara didn’t know how many there were, her legs and feet ached from all the climbing and she was short of breath with a stitch in her side when Alistair reached the door and pushed it open. She grabbed an arrow and fitted it to the bow string before she entered the room. This room hid more darkspawn than the lower floors before them as they surged towards all three of them standing in the doorway. Aedan and Alistair pushed forward to meet them. Sara stayed in the doorway, but there was less hesitation, the repulsion and stark difference between them and humans were finally sinking in. She found it easier to aim her arrows at them with the intention of killing. She focused in on a larger darkspawn that was shouldering past the others, his heavy axe raised to strike down its target. She aimed for the vulnerable neck, but when she let go, she watched the arrow sink into the beast’s shoulder. She heard its ear splitting shriek add to the din of the room as she readied and fired a second arrow. This time it hit him in the side, bringing the best to its knees. Then Sara turned and fired at the exposed back of another and it too fell to its knees, but it continued to crumple to the floor, spasming as it died. She looked up to see Alistair sinking his sword into the chest of the larger darkspawn. He pushed it backward with his foot, pulling out his sword. It fell to the floor, staring vacantly towards the ceiling.

“I’m up to seven, you?” Alistair asked turning to Aedan.

“Not counting,” Aedan answered smiling. It surprised her when both men turned with the same expectant expression.

“One or two,” Sara answered shrugging.

“We can’t be much farther,” Aedan said as he tried to catch his breath. Sara had to force herself to look at the two men. They were both covered in blood, it dripped from their armor. She looked down at herself and saw just a streak of it, already congealed and dry looking on her torso, probably from the one she hacked on the arm. “Hang in there, this will be over soon.”

“Come on, we better go, the signal probably has already been sent,” Alistair said and they walked up the next flight of stairs. This time though, they were greeted with a larger, metal door that took all three of them to open. It was slightly ajar and Sara had to force the scream from her lips by clenching her teeth together. Standing in the middle of the room was a large, grotesque, grey skinned giant that towered over everything else. It was holding a full grown man, a dead soldier, in one hand. They all watched in disgusting horror as the beast raised the man’s limp body to his mouth and tore off a chunk of flesh from the man’s thigh.

“Eeuugh,” Alistair groaned, then cursed when the gigantic beast turned its body fully into view. Seeing them standing in the doorway it let out a vicious growl that seemed to shake the floor beneath them and threw the body away. Before the other two reacted Sara raised her bow and flew an arrow. It sank into the beast’s chest, but the beast barely seemed to notice as it braced itself to charge.

“For the head Sara, aim for its head!” Aedan yelled as he took off running with Alistair only hesitating for a moment. The Ogre turned his attention to them and she grabbed another arrow and quickly released it. She watched as it bounced off the forehead and fell to the ground. There were horns protruding from the beast’s head that curled up and slightly behind. It again didn’t seem to feel the impact of the arrow. She watched as she reached for another arrow as it seemed to swat Alistair’s sword aside like it was a bothersome insect. They were aiming for the beast’s knees, there were small gashes, open and bleeding, from the few blows the two of them managed to land. The thick wood floor shook with every step it took as it lumbered along on its legs as thick as trees. Readying another arrow she waited for the beast to recoil from another strike, it stood up ready to throw another punch towards the men before she let her arrow loose. It flew through the air in a slightly curved arch and it surprised Sara when the arrow hit her mark as it punctured the left eye. The ogre to let out a deeply guttural scream as its head rocked back on impact. It shook its head, Sara, thinking she killed it frowned as it recovered, swaying it took another haphazard swing at the men at its feet. Aedan dodged the blow by jumping backwards, landing on his back. Alistair jumped forward lunging the sword into the beast’s chest, he pulled it out as the beast staggered forward and fell to one knee. Alistair slammed the sword in a second time. The ogre’s screams became muffled by blood dribbling out of its mouth. Alistair pulled the sword out again and then aimed higher, sinking into its throat. This time it fell backwards, no longer moving.

“What was that thing?” Sara asked too afraid to approach from the door.

“Darkspawn pet of sorts, called an Ogre,” Alistair answered as he looked around the room. “Dumb as a stump.”

“Why was it up here?” Aedan asked getting back to his feet.

“Don’t know,” Alistair answered, “I doubt they knew of the tower’s importance to our plan, I don’t want to think darkspawn are that smart.”

Alistair grabbed a torch from the wall and walked over to the fireplace that would light the tower beacon. He laid it on the pile of loose straw, the dry grass quickly caught fire and spread. A few moments later the entire beacon was on fire, easily seen from the ground.

“Let’s get down there and…” Aedan started, but a loud crash behind them caused them all to turn. It was then Sara was hit in the shoulder and chest by a pair of arrows. She didn’t have time to scream as she fell to the floor hearing a second explosion erupt behind her as she fell into darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

Dragon Age I FanFiction

Aedan paced outside of a closed bedroom chamber door, Alistair watched him as he kept stopping every few minutes to listen at the muffled voices from the other side. Looking around Alistair took in the small bookshelf filled with books in languages he had never heard, an iron pot was hoisted over a fire that licked around it, cooking what smelled similar to a vegetable stew. It was a small wooden hut with a straw thatched roof.

When the door opened a pinch faced old woman with fly away grey hair stepped out of the room. Aedan tried to shoulder past the old woman, but she slammed the door shut behind her. Alistair stood, a lingering soreness in his chest caused a small groan to escape his lips. She made to ignore them both, but Aedan stepped into her path in the short, but narrow hallway.

“She’ll live, boy, now out of my way,” Flemeth said and Aedan felt himself take a breath that finally seemed to relax him. They had been here for a few days, he remembered waking up on blood stained bedding on the floor. A warm wet cloth folded over his forehead and eyes. When he sat up he saw Alistair sitting in a chair by the fire watching over him. He had told him that they had Sara in the bedroom, that he didn’t know her condition, just that she was still alive.

“I told you she’d live,” Alistair said clapping his hand on his shoulder. “Now, woman are you going to tell us where we are?”

“Not yet,” she answered cackling as she stirred the stew with a long wooden spoon.

“Or how we got here, then?” Alistair asked his eyes narrowed with the same suspicion they had the first time he asked these questions.

“Not that either,” she answered not glancing at him.

“I know the other woman is some sort of witch,” Alistair said, “you must be as well, I warn you, no funny business.”

“I didn’t just save your life to kill you, boy,” she said turning to face him. “I just don’t want to tell the same story three times.”

“You could just tell us and we’d tell my sister,” Aedan said finding his voice stronger now that he knew Sara would survive.

“Your sister is awake,” the second woman announced and both men standing in the hallway jumped and fell into the wall. The sultry voiced woman was younger, with dark hair, and a mesmerizing shade of gold hues in her eyes. Aedan had to concentrate to keep his wits about him, he glanced at Alistair who seemed to refuse to look at her directly.

The door opened wider revealing Sara standing beside the other woman, back in her armor, now with two small holes, but it seemed to be cleaned and polished like their own armor was when they first awakened.

“What’s happened?” Sara asked nodding her head towards the woman standing beside her, “She won’t tell me anything, just that you two are alive.”

“I told her not to,” the older woman answered, “this little hut of mine is too small and way too fragile for the news I’m about to tell you. So let’s step outside.”

“Tell me now woman,” Alistair ordered, but the old woman pointed to the door. They all jumped when the wooden door flew open letting in the midday sun. The younger woman laughed and led the way out of the hut.

When they were all outside the door closed behind them. Sara watched as the two women talked quietly to one another, both frowning as if deciding something. Sara could feel the tension coming from the two men she was standing between. Tired and sore all she wanted was to walk back into the hut and sleep a little longer. As soon as she opened her eyes though, the black haired woman told her to dress, she didn’t help or watch, and then she opened the door when Sara had finished.

“Now,” the old woman said, “I believe we’ll start with names, this is my daughter Morrigan, and you can call me Flemeth.” 

Sara heard the swift intake of air from Alistair as he seemed to recognize the name. She looked up at him to see his eyes squinted as he thought the name over. She had heard the name before, but couldn’t recall when.

“The Witch of the Wilds,” Alistair said, “and here I thought nightmares weren’t real.”

“And you are Grey Wardens plus one,” Flemeth said looking at the three of them. “If I had noticed during your ambush in the tower, I wouldn’t have bothered with you, girl, count yourself lucky.” 

Sara shuddered as Aedan put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

“Don’t talk about her like she’s nothing,” Aedan said, “why did you bother with two Grey Wardens anyway?”

“Because Grey Wardens fight darkspawn during a Blight,” Flemeth said stepping closer to them. “I’ve seen their numbers gathering, they are being led by the Archdemon and have been for some time now.”

“But didn’t think of telling anyone did you?” Alistair asked crossing his arms. “Where is Duncan? What happened at Ostagar? And where in the Maker’s name are we?”

“Duncan is dead, Morrigan and I were watching the battle from the beginning,” Flemeth said, pausing to let the news sink in. Sara appreciated that the woman was at least frowning and sounded saddened by having to tell of Duncan’s death. She glanced at Morrigan who seemed to look as if she were listening to a tale that had been told many times before.

“Duncan,” Alistair whispered Sara thought for a second that maybe the news was too much for him and that he was about to collapse under the weight of it. She felt herself reach out to him, but recoiled, thinking better of it.

“King Cailan also,” Flemeth said and Sara felt her own stomach drop.

“We lit the signal,” Aedan said, “how did the darkspawn win?”

“Because Teyrn Loghain never released his army, instead he retreated from battle completely,” Flemeth answered.

“Why would he do that?” Aedan answered, “Did he think he would get away with it?”

“Of course he did,” Flemeth said shaking her head, “and he did, did he not?”

“I’ll kill him, that rat faced bastard,” Alistair hissed raking his hand through his short strawberry blond hair.

“Why would he want Cailan dead?” Sara asked and she heard Morrigan sigh.

“The crown,” Aedan answered, “Howe and him planned all this, that’s why Howe attacked us, to get rid of anyone that can lay claim.”

“I’ll kill him,” Alistair repeated and Sara looked up to see him fighting tears, fighting to remain strong. His hands were trembling and the urge to comfort him came over her again. She feared it wouldn’t be welcomed and only make things worse. She turned to see Aedan’s own anger and frustration washing over him. Sara though seemed too tired to feel much anything. “Without Duncan, I don’t know what to do.”

“You are Grey Wardens are you not?” Flemeth asked her voice measuring them.

“How can we matter now?” Alistair asked his voice threatening to crack. “Duncan would know what to do…”

“Then let that guide you until you find your feet,” Flemeth answered offering him a tight lipped smile. “What would he do?”

“He would focus on the Blight,” Alistair answered, “he would…”

“What about the ancient treaties?” Aedan asked turning towards Alistair. Confused Sara looked between them, knowing nothing of ancient treaties. “The ones he sent us to find when we went into the wilds.”

“Fergus,” Sara whispered, her heart sinking. If King Cailan and Duncan had died, that meant the darkspawn likely didn’t leave many alive at all. There would be little chance that Fergus was still alive. The thought nearly doubled her over.

“What?” Aedan asked turning to look at her.

“Fergus,” Sara repeated looking towards Flemeth for any sort of answer.

“After the darkspawn pressed forward people scattered, but many didn’t get out alive,” Flemeth answered, “some did though, I’m sure.”

“Hold on to that,” Aedan said offering Sara a weak smile.

“The treaties allows us to call an army to defeat a blight,” Alistair said, “Duncan sent us to retrieve them from the ruins.”

“Are you sure it’s a blight?” Aedan asked, “How do we know?”

“Without an Archdemon darkspawn are marauders, no true direction,” Flemeth answered frowning, “when they become organized with a single purpose is proof enough.”

“They have been testing the strength of the Dwarven armies now for months,” Morrigan added, “they also don’t come out from those caves of theirs in this number, do they?” 

“Who signed the treaties?” Aedan asked, “Duncan had them.”

“I retrieved those,” Morrigan shooting a glare at Flemeth, “at the command of my mother of course.”

“The treaties are for mages, the King’s armies, Dwarfs, and the Dalish Elves,” Alistair answered, “darkspawn only want to rip up the land and kill anything that isn’t one of them.”

“It’s a start,” Aedan said sighing, “I guess we’ll start with mages at the Circle of Magi?”

“I hate mages,” Alistair said, wincing when Flemeth cackled.

“Harsh words since one just saved your life,” Flemeth said dismissing any comment.

“What about Loghain?” Sara asked, “We can’t trust him.”

“We’ll go to Arl Eamon as well,” Alistair said, “he’s a good man, I trust him.”

“He’s been a friend of our family as well,” Sara said, “but so was Howe and Loghain.”

“I know him, he’s not like them,” Alistair said, “his influence can only assist us.”

“Ah, a plan then,” Flemeth said, “there’s just one more thing, you’ll need.”

“What’s that?” Alistair asked cocking an eyebrow.

“My daughter,” Flemeth answered and Sara glanced at Morrigan to see the shock on her own face. She hadn’t been told of this before now either. 

“Your what?” Alistair asked looking at Morrigan and pointing his finger, “Her?”

“She is a skilled and capable mage,” Flemeth said, “and a good guide around the lingering darkspawn in our wilds.”

“Mother,” Morrigan started, but Flemeth waved her hand.

“You heard me girl,” Flemeth said her command seeming to wash over the younger woman, “you need to stretch your legs a little as it is.” 

“Fine, I’ll go get my things,” Morrigan hissed and she stomped around them, the door to the hut opening and slamming shut behind her.

“Children,” Flemeth cackled shaking her head.

“And what if we don’t want her?” Alistair asked, “I don’t want her, do you?”

“She looks dangerous,” Sara answered, “so she must be good at killing things.”

“Including us,” Alistair whispered, “in our sleep, whilst our backs are turned, put poison in our drink.”

“Why save us just to kill us?” Aedan asked, “It doesn’t make good sense.”

“And she is my daughter, know that I am not doing this lightly,” Flemeth said, “I expect you to realize the importance.”

“Let her come,” Aedan said turning to Alistair, “otherwise it is three against everything else out there waiting.”

“And a mage makes those odds any better?” Alistair asked, “She could be crazy, a demon could…”

“A demon never will,” Morrigan answered coolly, “shall we get on with it then?”

“Yes,” Aedan said and Morrigan took the lead.

True to Flemeth’s word, Morrigan was a skilled guide through the forest. It didn’t soothe Sara’s fears though. With every step she strained her ears to listen for anything else, but the four of them walking through the dense forest drowned out most other sounds. Morrigan would stop at bushes and point to berries that were edible. None of them ate the first few times, apart from Morrigan herself. After she didn’t seem to have any ill effects from the berries, Sara grabbed a handful, but she noticed that Alistair never did. He lingered behind the rest seemingly lost in his own thoughts. When she would look behind her sometimes she would find him watching her and other times looking at something in the distance. Aedan gave Alistair space as well, not wanting to intrude on his mourning of Duncan, that Alistair just managed to hide in the set of his shoulders and the mask of his face.

As nightfall fell, Morrigan led them to a clearing protected on three sides by moss covered boulders. Flemeth had supplied each of them a roll of bedding, but only one tent. Morrigan had her own supplies strapped to her back along with a stave.

Aedan gathered wood and assembled them into a pile surrounded by rock. He was about to start banging two together, hoping for a spark that would catch the dry grass he used for kindling. Then without warning Morrigan shot a small ball of fire towards him, it struck the kindling igniting it. Aedan scrambled backwards as Morrigan laughed. Sara frowned when she saw Aedan smile and shake his head as he put larger sticks onto the fire so that it would last. Morrigan also passed out bread that she had taken from the hut and chunks of cheese. She laid out the berries that she had collected as they walked and this time Alistair was hungry enough to accept them.

“I’ve only met one other mage,” Sara said, “a woman named Wynne, from the Circle.”

“Prison,” Morrigan said as she took another bite of food.

“Best place for them,” Alistair grumbled and he stood and walked around the small camp wanting distance, but not wanting to leave the company of the others as well. Being an older member of the Grey Wardens he felt responsible, even though he didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t want to lead them, he didn’t think himself worthy, and his heart wasn’t ready for it. He wasn’t Duncan, as he blindly followed Morrigan, hating every step he took down the paths she was leading, he tried to think of Duncan and how he would lead them. If he would know what berries were edible. If he would have found this camp suitable in a wilderness filled with darkspawn, wolves, and a number of other deadly creatures. Not knowing hurt more, because now he never would.

“Alistair?” Sara whispered causing the man to jump slightly. She held out another chunk of bread and he took it. 

“So she steals bread off her mother’s table, a real asset,” Alistair said and he bit into the bread. Sara smiled watching him eat. She had started to point out everything else Morrigan had done, but knew he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Why do you dislike mages?” Sara asked crossing her arms against the cold air away from the fire.

“I don’t,” Alistair said, “I just don’t trust them, I was in training to be a Templar before this.”

“Oh,” Sara said, knowing that Templars were skilled in hunting mages that go rogue or escape from the Circle of Magi. It was a tower just outside of Redcliffe, when a human shows they can do magic, they are taken there. Sara had always thought mages wanted to be there, to learn to use their ability, but she also knew they were hunted and forced into the Circle, because they were feared.

“The first darkspawn were mages you know,” Alistair said, and Sara knew of that story as well. Their instructor at the castle had told them.

“How are you feeling?” Sara asked after a silence fell between them. Alistair didn’t welcome the question and only sighed, scratching the back of his head then stepped around her.

“I’ll take first watch,” Alistair said, “Aedan and you need your rest.”

Knowing that Alistair wouldn’t give up first watch to someone else, wanting to be awake while he watched Morrigan and give him time and privacy to let himself think about Duncan. Sara didn’t argue and neither did Aedan as he erected the lone tent and gestured for Sara to take it.

“I’ll be fine out here,” Sara said, “I want to be close to the fire anyway, I’m kind of cold.”

“You take the tent,” Aedan countered, “you’ve not been healed by Flemeth as long as I have, you need the rest.”

“You take it,” Sara argued crossing her arms. Then she heard laughter behind her and she turned to see Morrigan holding something in her arm.

“All this nonsense over a tent,” she said smirking, “you are brother and sister, I believe the tent is big enough for the both of you.”

“I’ve never shared a room with a girl,” Aedan said crossing his arms.

“Well well, have you not?” Morrigan asked cocking an eyebrow, letting her eyes linger over his body. Aedan knew instantly what Morrigan was implying, but only shook his head, his face flushing. “Nobility and their noble intentions are boring, in that way.”

“Leave him alone Morrigan,” Sara said, her own face not hiding the embarrassment she felt.

“I brought you this,” Morrigan said shoving the gown at Sara, “it is nothing special of course, but it will give you an option.”

“Thank you,” Sara said and she held the gown out to look at it. It was a thicker fabric, for cooler weather, sleeved to her elbows, in a dark, nearly black shade of blue with light blue trim and floral design. It was a fine made gown that didn’t seem to fit two women that lived in a hut in the middle of the wilderness.

“Nothing of it,” Morrigan offered, “I stole it anyway.”

Sara watched Morrigan step around the fire and a disgruntled Alistair as she made her way back to her own fire and tent away from everyone else. She watched Morrigan rearrange her bedding, opening a book, using the firelight to read.

“Real smooth,” Aedan hissed shoving his bedding into the tent, “just told her you were…”

“What are you saying?” Sara asked as she carefully smoothed out her own bedding on the other side of the tent, as far away from Aedan as she could get.

“Nothing,” he growled kicking off his boots and laying down on his back. She turned away from him, facing the side of the tent. For a while she watched the shadows caused by the fire dance across the side and that seemed to take her mind off everything to fall asleep.

A few hours later Sara stirred hearing Alistair waking Aedan to take his watch. She looked out of the mouth of the tent to see Aedan taking a seat next to the fire. He took a few drinks from a leather pouch and settled in. Alistair put his bedding on the other side of the fire and laid down, his back to Aedan. Rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes she looked across the camp to find Morrigan curled up in her own bedding, the book open at her side.

Still feeling the weight of her healed injuries Sara sighed, but she no longer felt sleepy so she crawled out of the tent. Aedan nodded his head towards the tent, wanting her to go back inside it, but she ignored him and sat down beside him, her bow in her lap.

“Stop watching over me,” Sara whispered leaning closer to Aedan so their talking wouldn’t disturb Alistair. “It won’t do you any good.”

“You’re my younger sister,” Aedan said offering her a smile, “and no one else is here.”

“Just don’t, okay?” Sara countered finding his eyes in the firelight, they reflected the orange glow. He looked older than he did at the castle, less carefree. She wondered how she looked now to him. “Besides after we’re in Redcliffe, I’ll stay with Eamon and Isolde, right?”

“If you want,” Aedan said offering her a smile, “although at this point I don’t know who to trust.”

“Surely we can trust Eamon,” Sara countered, but the thought of being left behind while Aedan went in search of an army bothered her as well. Flemeth had made it clear that if she had known Sara wasn’t a Grey Warden, she would have been left for dead. The thought stayed with her, Arl Howe and Loghain would want her dead as well, and wondered if Eamon’s influence would be enough to protect her. Nobility so far has put a larger target on her back than any sort of protection.

“Eamon’s lack of response during Ostagar is bothering me,” Aedan whispered glancing over his shoulder to where Alistair was. They both doubted that Alistair was asleep when Sara glanced over her shoulder as well. He seemed too still, too rigid.

“The alternative is for me to follow you,” Sara said looking back at her brother. For some reason Aedan seemed more willing of this plan now than he had before.

“I’m thinking that’s your better option,” Aedan said looking towards the surrounding wilderness. It was quiet, the only noise coming from the crackling fire just behind them.

“Then you’re going to have to stop looking after me,” Sara countered, “no telling what we’re going to run into and if you’re too busy trying to protect me from it, you’ll be killed. You’re more important than I am, you’re in line for Teyrn, you’re a Grey Warden during a blight, I’m just a girl.”

“I already told you,” Aedan started, but Sara shook her head.

“If I die, I want it to be because I didn’t fight back good enough,” Sara whispered looking down at her hands. “And if you die, I want to think it was because you weren’t trying to save my life. Too many people have done that for me already.”

“I’ll get us through all this,” Aedan said and Sara saw the determination in his eyes and in the set of his shoulders. “So it is settled then.”

“What is?” Sara asked looking towards the wilderness she saw that she could see individual trees through the darkness now. She didn’t know how late it was, but the moon was gone and the soft lightening of the darkness around them told her it was at least getting closer to dawn.

“That we stay together,” Aedan answered shaking his head, “until we know who we can trust.”

“And no more fussing over me,” Sara said nudging Aedan with her shoulder, “agreed?”

“Agreed,” he said, but Sara knew this change she saw in Aedan wouldn’t allow him to do it. Although he was taller and broader than their father, she saw more of him in Aedan now than ever. He had finally grown up and although that made her feel better, she couldn’t help but think that it was all happening too soon and the world seemed to be waiting to strike them all back down. She wondered if any of them could handle it when it did.


End file.
